Please I need help on my motivation letter where to improve.
Motivation Letter for a Master's Degree in Sustainable Agriculture.
Admission committee member,
Am writing this letter to express my interest in studying at the University of Padova as dual degree masters in sustainable Agriculture student.
I am xxxx, xx years old. I am interested to apply for your prestigious Master's in Sustainable Agriculture implemented by University of xxx for academic year 2021/2022. Am very passionate young trained professional in Horticulture, with three years of experience in sustainable agriculture and food systems in Israel, USA and Sweden. My strong academic background in BSc. Horticulture makes me a strong candidate for this competitive program and I am optimistic that the skills and knowledge that the program will offer me will enrich and engulf my past three year work experience in sustainable agriculture and food systems which will pave way and lounge my career internationally like working with FAO, IFAD and WFP which all of them are headquartered in Italy.
I hold a Bachelor's Degree in BSc. Horticulture from xxx University of Agriculture. Since then, I have clearly determined my career goals and would like to continue my education at your esteemed, experienced, house of multicultural interactions, excellence research institute and global reputable university.
I am interested to learn more about sustainable disease management, biotechnology for plant protection, research planning, agri-food economics and policy and after looking over your curricula, I believe that the university offers the best opportunities for me to educate myself further not only in the above mention courses but at large scope of sustainable agriculture.
I am determined and believe that this program will polish my strong career foundation and education background. Therefore I will bring wealth personal experience from my daily farming activities as well as the knowledge I got during my internships, traineeships and exchange programs which I participated in developed countries like Israel, USA and Sweden to the program and I expect to learn from fellow scholars. It's my hope that I will secure this life time opportunity to be among the scholars of the academic year of 2021/2022.
Thank you very much for your consideration.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,742 3794
The letter doesn't provide much information to the reviewer. It seems to be going around in circles repeating that you are a graduate of BSc. Horticulture. You indicate a strong academic background but no further information referring to your academic accomplishments or excellence. The career goals that are a solid part of your motivation are mentioned but not clearly discussed. Interest in what you will learn, but not how you will apply it to your profession does not leave the reviewer with an idea regarding your professional motivation for higher studies.
The essay is basically only an outline of what you should be presenting. It is not presenting usable information. It does not inform nor educate the reader regarding the basis of your motivation for studies. It is, in effect, a useless letter as it does not present any clear motivations in relation to goals. Spell it out. Be specific. Do not merely imply. Implied focus means you do not have any true idea behind your motivation for studies. Unless you can present a clear, focused, and solid plan behind your academic goals in relation to career achievements, I am afraid your motivation letter will not help to support your application.