My CV for undergraduate admission (economics, experience, leadership, activity)

EDUCATION

ECONOMICS EXPERIENCE

Forex Trader
- Traded foreign exchange in practice account with $5000 practice funds

- Honed basic skills as forex trader, especially fundamental analysis of different factors, including market drivers and economic indicators

- Researched information of latest economic condition

- Obtained general knowledge of economic structure and financial system

- Focused on Sino-US and China-Euro relations

LEADERSHIP

President/Public Relations Manager
- Established first group organized by students in school

- Recruited over 30 members from all three grades with 70% average attendance rate per activity

- Planned and executed activities with focus on social responsibility, confidence, and teamwork skills

- Organized 10 social activities, including charity sales, internships, and field trips. One charity sale be reported by best-selling local newspaper

- Created posters to promote upcoming events and brochures to present prior activities

Group Leader
- Designed billboard in school twice per semester to introduce and promote class spirit

- Arranged classroom decoration to create delightful study environment or to celebrate holidays

- Prepared thanks cards and gifts for teachers on Teacher's Day, New Year and Spring Festival
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY

Participant
- Deepened perception of Sino-Japanese relations and Japanese cultures

- Raised awareness about importance of dialogue based on mutual respect between nations, especially countries with unsolved historical issues

- Contributed to society in China through service activity in Guangdong province

- Experienced international environment of XX College

- Considered world as global unit and youth as future backbone force

Community Volunteer
- Prepared singing and dancing performance

- Used money raised by charity sales to improve food quality of nursing home

- Talked and played easy games with the elderly

Volunteer Teacher
- Participated in volunteer group with 18 members from XXXX 2 months after disastrous earthquake happened in Beichuan

- Designed teaching sessions aiming at reduction of children's negative emotions

- Led Chinese puzzle games and outdoor activities with focus on team spirit, motivation and self-esteem for disaster-hit areas' children ages 6-10

- Eliminated unnecessary compassion and condescending actions to protect children's sensitive hearts

- Lived in crude prefabricated house and slept on bed combined by 9 desks for 10 days without having any showers during hottest period of summer

- Lost camera, money and ID card. Realized importance of self-protection especially when travelled alone in strange city

Organizer
- Raised money for charity fund by selling beverage

- Negotiated with management office of famous park for permission of charity sale

- Selected "Welcome 2008 Olympic Game" as marketing theme which was popular and eye-catching in 2008

- Designed colorful posters and uniforms to create intensive visual effect for attracting customers

Organizer
- Initiated newspaper fundraiser to collect money for postage of mailing donated books to primary school in Tibet

- Charity Sale reported by best-selling local newspaper

- Win-win cooperation. Low cost newspaper and high return social benefit

Logistics Intern
- Collaborated with logistics manager to prepare Spring Festival celebration events

- Decorated offices to create holiday atmosphere

- Provided high level of customer service on celebration

- Translated for foreign staffs
Teaching Assistant
- Assisted in organizing English Corner for first year high school students

- Tutored students with difficulties in oral English

- Praised by English teacher for progress made by my students
Member
- Participated in ancient Chinese poetry performances which received awards from school

- Practiced poetry recitation with expression

- Helped president conduct meetings for 15 members

WORK EXPERIENCE

Part-time Oral English Teacher
- Taught basic oral English one-on-one for adults

Marketing and Public Relations staff
- Distributed brochure and flyers in amusement park

- Pinpointed potential clients with children ages 4-8. Observed potential clients' dressing to assume affordability for English learning

- Used children's English learning situation as entry point of conversation

- Collected potential clients' personal information

- Commended by department manager for effectiveness and validity of collected information

COMPUTER AND LANGUAGE SKILLS

Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint
Fluent Chinese, Cantonese and English
Basic Japanese

I omitted some personal information.
Hope you can help me revise some grammar mistakes and provide some comments.
I'm applying for a bussiness school in Europe.

General overall (personal) reactions:
Firstly, the CV needs dates and specifics. Secondly, I am not sure starting off with Economics experience and Leadership works in your favor. Thirdly, the bullet points format makes the CV way too long for the reader to get a focussed impression of what I am sure are your impressive experiences. And I think your Leadership experiences belong under Extracurricular as they are in school. Finally, pick out your top 3 MOST meaningful significant experience and elaborate on them. Hopefully, there will be a common theme that stands out and demonstrates your area of interest or excellence.

Some examples of where you need to be more specific:
# Researched information of latest economic condition IT WOULD HELP TO SAY WHAT ECON CONDITION YOU RESEARCHED
# Obtained general knowledge of economic structure and financial system THIS IS VAGUE AND REPEATS THE EARLIER POINT
# Focused on Sino-US and China-Euro relations WHAT ASPECT OF SINO-EURO AND SINO-US RELATIONS?

OK, now that I've given you feedback on the formal aspects of the CV, here is what I found most interesting about the info you provided on yourself:

You learned basic Japanese and participated in some activity (specifics??) that "Deepened perception of Sino-Japanese relations and Japanese cultures"
Now that is pretty unique for a chinese highschool graduate and more intrigueing than your research on Sino US or Sino European relations... I would like to learn more about WHY you did and what you learnt from it.

Thanks very much.
It's my first time to write a CV, so I am not quite familiar with it.
I start with economic experience and leadership because I want to emphasize them when apply for a business school.
I will revise it and try to be more specific. It's a common problem for Chinese to write or say something big like research on sino-euro and sino-us relations to attract others. Maybe this problem was caused by the party which likes big words!!! :)

* Lived in crude prefabricated house and slept for ten days on bed combined by constructed from nine de sks, without having any showers, during hottest period of summer

* Lost camera, money and ID card. Realized importance of self-protection especially when traveled alone in strange city-----Hahahahaha, you are awesome. Great writing here... it is nice that you put this as an accomplishment. Great idea...