Write an email to Simon, an English friend, describing your family home.

my birthday party

Dear Simon,
Thank you for your birthday present. I am very love it. I hope you still fine.
Because of Covid-19, my birthday party was attended by only my family and everything was prepared by ourselves. I show you a picture that I took on that day. The man who was standing in the corner of the room is my father. He was fixing my favorite radio. I think that the present he wanted to give me. My mom was puttiing some food on the table. For me, she is a very good cook and I like all food she cooked for my own home. The boy who was looking at the camera with a big smile is my brother. He loves sweets so much, so he insisted on holding my birthday cake to take pictures. My grandmother was sitting on the chair. She was eighty years old and she liked to watch everyone playing. My family always care for each other, so I was very happy although this party was simple.

I wish for the epidemic to stop quickly and everyone be safe.
Hope to see you soon!
Cheryl

I believe that you are writing this letter as an IELTS task exercise right? Sadly, you forgot to upload the letter instructions so I cannot advice you regarding the errors you may have made in relation to the instructions. All I can do is give you some grammar pointers for this work. I will not be able to correct all of the errors in your letter though as that would require me to rewrite the letter in totality for you. I am prohibited from doing that by the forum rules.

Your spelling errors should have been caught if you had done some spell checking before you submitted the essay.

puttiiing - putting

You also have some adverb issues. You should know when to remove or replace an adverb for clarity:

She is a very good cook - she is an incredibly good cook.

Sentence structure:

I am very love it - I love it very much
I hope you still fine - I hope you are fine

You cannot start any sentence with because. It is a connecting word between two ideas in a sentence (cause and effect). You should also format the letter in paragraph forms. Your letter should have at 3 paragraphs for this presentation. That helps to show off your grammar, vocabulary, clarity, and coherence skills. Sadly, these are the very problems you have to fix with your next letter presentation.

Thanks for your response. I am happy when someone read my writing.
Sorry I don't post all my topic because the subject blank is not enough space. My total topic is "Write an email to Simon, an English friend, describing your family home. Use apostrophes and words such as my, yours, ourselves, itself, my own, each other, etc."

I have just started my English class in a university. My teacher gave homework, but he does not have enough time to fix all class. So I post my writing here.

I hope to receive your response more.
Have a good day!

Dear Cheryl,

First of all your writing is quite good, but there are some ambiguous sentences like:

"I think that the present he wanted to give me" did the radio was the present? or you were just thinking about what present that your father gave you? if so how about "I wonder about what my father wanted to give me for my birthday"

"I like all food she cooked for my own home" this sentence mean that the food is for your home and that doesn't make sense, try "I like all home cooked foods that my mom cooked"

try "birthday cake for the picture"