The given proposal(no need check)
Background
Mobile phone, an electronic device that are used by the people in this modern day. A device that could make all kind of communications, like making a call or message over a radio link while the user is dynamically moving around a wide geographic area, or even using a chat features, take pictures and hear music (Mobile Phone, n.d.). All of this could be done on the device as long it has a power that could supply electricity into it, and now it's called battery. The higher technology a mobile phone has, the more power from the battery supplied, giving it a fast time for it to deplete all of the power in it.
Thus people this day are using a portable charger that can charge the battery of their phone and extend its life.
Problem
The portable charger are basically portable and can be used anywhere. However, the problem lies when the power of itself is totally run out. Some product are improving the device by making it able to maintain more and more power in it, but the consequences are the dimension of the device is getting bigger and bigger, which making it less portable, heavier, and takes lots of spaces.
Solution
The main objective of this proposal is to introduce a wearable, portable, and user-friendly accessories called solar cap. This cap is basically an ordinary cap but with an upgrade, where it has solar cell, a solid-state semiconductor devices which produces DC electricity by changing the power of light (Böer, n.d.), that able to charge your electronic device, especially mobile phone just by standing or walking during the day.
The circuit inside the cap contain small stabilizer to maintain the power input during the charge so it'll be mobile friendly especially for the battery. It's also less space consuming where you could just wear the cap to start charging as long there's a light.
Benefits
Solar cap are wearable for all people, all range of age, making it very user-friendly. It's also very eco-friendly where it doesn't contain any volatile elements and use the sunlight for making an electricity power. Comparing to the current portable charger, it's less space consuming and easier to be used.
Implementation
In order to improve this device, the following steps will be taken:
1. We're going to collaborate with research team to conduct a research for creating more user-friendly solar cell on the cap and maximizing the power output from it.
2. Having a collaboration with certain cap manufacturer to create more comfortable and compatible cap for the device.
Assignment 1 | Checklist
Costs
Normal Cap$5
Small Solar Panel$20
Small Stabilizer$30
Wire$1
Total Cost$56
Conclusion
Electronic device these days are using more power from its battery, making it faster to deplete. Using a portable charger is an alternative to extend its life but will be useless if there're no power in it. The solar cap is a user friendly device that able to charge portable electronic device using the power of sunlight.
References
Böer, K. W. (n.d.). Solar Cells. Retrieved September 19, 2015, from Chemistry Explained
Mobile Phone. (n.d.). Retrieved September 19, 2015, from Wikipedia
Source: Anon (2016). Mobile Charging Cap. (HW0188 Report). Unpublished manuscript, School of Material Science and Engineering, Nanyang Technological University, Singapore.
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My writing(Please give some advice. Thank you.)
Introduction:
The objective of this report is to find out if the proposal is good enough to be chosen to join the technopreneurship competition. The proposal that being evaluated is Mobile Charging Cap written by Anon from School of Material Science and Engineering, NTU in Singapore.
Description:
The proposal is focusing on the problem of how to charge the battery and extend battery life effectively instead of using the portable charger with fixed capacity. The solution mentioned in the proposal is to produce a kind of solar cap which used solar cells as its energy source.
Objective
The goal of the following evaluation is to improve the quality of this proposal and then check whether it can be shortlisted or not.
There are three criteria that will be explained in details including the practicability of product, the expression of ideas and the language it used.
Evaluation
To start with, the battery problems are closely related to people's real life, especially its life and capacity. In order to fundamentally deal with this kind of problems, solar cap is a great choice. Solar energy is always considered as inexhaustible resource. That's why there is no need to worry about the capacity of solar cell. So, solar cap is obviously better than portable charger in these aspects. However, portable charger can genuinely be used by different kinds of people, cap may not be suitable for everyone. For example, generally, the old and the young can't wear cap any time they want. Therefore, solar cap still is not the best choice.
Then, the explanation of the future development part is not clear and proper enough. As a proposal, the word such as 'we' cannot be used. More importantly, the timeline should be provided and the detailed resource needs to be listed. For solar cap, besides solar cell and normal cap, stabilizer and wire are also necessary for production. As for stabilizer, there are so many methods that required to come up with to add comfort. As for wire, a lot of brands are waiting to be chosen. From these analyses above, only a summary of the imaginary future is insufficient, many more particulars have to be discussed.
And the most significant part of a proposal is the language. For this proposal, the language is quite good in most parts, but one point need to be captured is that proper language means the passive voice should be used and the tenses need to be correctly done. Besides, some small grammar mistakes such as use 'are' when describing a single object can be easily found. These are the most necessary errors that need to be corrected before submitting the proposal.
Conclusion
As a good proposal, it must be a proper and technical essay. The product mentioned should be worthy enough and process need to be clearly discussed. Because of improper language and impractical solution, this proposal should not be shortlisted.
Mobile Charging Cap
Background
Mobile phone, an electronic device that are used by the people in this modern day. A device that could make all kind of communications, like making a call or message over a radio link while the user is dynamically moving around a wide geographic area, or even using a chat features, take pictures and hear music (Mobile Phone, n.d.). All of this could be done on the device as long it has a power that could supply electricity into it, and now it's called battery. The higher technology a mobile phone has, the more power from the battery supplied, giving it a fast time for it to deplete all of the power in it.
Thus people this day are using a portable charger that can charge the battery of their phone and extend its life.
Problem
The portable charger are basically portable and can be used anywhere. However, the problem lies when the power of itself is totally run out. Some product are improving the device by making it able to maintain more and more power in it, but the consequences are the dimension of the device is getting bigger and bigger, which making it less portable, heavier, and takes lots of spaces.
Solution
The main objective of this proposal is to introduce a wearable, portable, and user-friendly accessories called solar cap. This cap is basically an ordinary cap but with an upgrade, where it has solar cell, a solid-state semiconductor devices which produces DC electricity by changing the power of light (Böer, n.d.), that able to charge your electronic device, especially mobile phone just by standing or walking during the day.
The circuit inside the cap contain small stabilizer to maintain the power input during the charge so it'll be mobile friendly especially for the battery. It's also less space consuming where you could just wear the cap to start charging as long there's a light.
Benefits
Solar cap are wearable for all people, all range of age, making it very user-friendly. It's also very eco-friendly where it doesn't contain any volatile elements and use the sunlight for making an electricity power. Comparing to the current portable charger, it's less space consuming and easier to be used.
Implementation
In order to improve this device, the following steps will be taken:
1. We're going to collaborate with research team to conduct a research for creating more user-friendly solar cell on the cap and maximizing the power output from it.
2. Having a collaboration with certain cap manufacturer to create more comfortable and compatible cap for the device.
Assignment 1 | Checklist
Costs
Normal Cap$5
Small Solar Panel$20
Small Stabilizer$30
Wire$1
Total Cost$56
Conclusion
Electronic device these days are using more power from its battery, making it faster to deplete. Using a portable charger is an alternative to extend its life but will be useless if there're no power in it. The solar cap is a user friendly device that able to charge portable electronic device using the power of sunlight.
References
Böer, K. W. (n.d.). Solar Cells. Retrieved September 19, 2015, from Chemistry Explained
Mobile Phone. (n.d.). Retrieved September 19, 2015, from Wikipedia
Source: Anon (2016). Mobile Charging Cap. (HW0188 Report). Unpublished manuscript, School of Material Science and Engineering, Nanyang Technological University, Singapore.
-----------------------------------
My writing(Please give some advice. Thank you.)
Introduction:
The objective of this report is to find out if the proposal is good enough to be chosen to join the technopreneurship competition. The proposal that being evaluated is Mobile Charging Cap written by Anon from School of Material Science and Engineering, NTU in Singapore.
Description:
The proposal is focusing on the problem of how to charge the battery and extend battery life effectively instead of using the portable charger with fixed capacity. The solution mentioned in the proposal is to produce a kind of solar cap which used solar cells as its energy source.
Objective
The goal of the following evaluation is to improve the quality of this proposal and then check whether it can be shortlisted or not.
There are three criteria that will be explained in details including the practicability of product, the expression of ideas and the language it used.
Evaluation
To start with, the battery problems are closely related to people's real life, especially its life and capacity. In order to fundamentally deal with this kind of problems, solar cap is a great choice. Solar energy is always considered as inexhaustible resource. That's why there is no need to worry about the capacity of solar cell. So, solar cap is obviously better than portable charger in these aspects. However, portable charger can genuinely be used by different kinds of people, cap may not be suitable for everyone. For example, generally, the old and the young can't wear cap any time they want. Therefore, solar cap still is not the best choice.
Then, the explanation of the future development part is not clear and proper enough. As a proposal, the word such as 'we' cannot be used. More importantly, the timeline should be provided and the detailed resource needs to be listed. For solar cap, besides solar cell and normal cap, stabilizer and wire are also necessary for production. As for stabilizer, there are so many methods that required to come up with to add comfort. As for wire, a lot of brands are waiting to be chosen. From these analyses above, only a summary of the imaginary future is insufficient, many more particulars have to be discussed.
And the most significant part of a proposal is the language. For this proposal, the language is quite good in most parts, but one point need to be captured is that proper language means the passive voice should be used and the tenses need to be correctly done. Besides, some small grammar mistakes such as use 'are' when describing a single object can be easily found. These are the most necessary errors that need to be corrected before submitting the proposal.
Conclusion
As a good proposal, it must be a proper and technical essay. The product mentioned should be worthy enough and process need to be clearly discussed. Because of improper language and impractical solution, this proposal should not be shortlisted.