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Putting A Stop to Gun Violence in Our Schools



JK2010 1 / -  
Aug 11, 2018   #1

solutions for gun violence



Going to school used to be a safe experience for children. Hearing about shootings at schools was not something that was common. However, it seems that things have changed, now when you watched the news it is not uncommon to hear about a shooting that has happened at a school. It saddens my heart when I hear about the different school shootings that have happened in our country.

Many people have argued that one of the solutions to gun violence is to arm the teachers. They think that if the teachers are armed then it can help reduce the likely chance of gun violence happening in the schools. President Trump claims that the strategy of arming teachers would be far less costly than hiring guards. He said "gun-free" school zones make it like "going in for ice cream" for school shooters and said that with his strategy, "attacks would end!" (Wagner) He feels as if we allow a few teachers to be armed that they would be able to stop an armed gunned. Some people argue with this idea and some people do not. I personally do not agree with the idea of arming teachers.

For one, teachers are at the school to the teacher so that is what they need to be focus on. Some public schools across the country are not already meeting the academic goals that are set for the state. So why would we give the teachers another responsibility to do besides teaching the children? Not to mention the accidents that can happen from teachers having guns in the schools. With this in mind, a reserve police officer teaching a public safety class accidentally fired his gun in a classroom at a Northern California high school on a Tuesday afternoon and one student was struck in the neck by bullet fragments. Another accident happens when the school police officer accidentally fired his gun in his Virginia office, sending a bullet through a wall into a middle school classroom. Statistics show that it has been more than 30 mishaps from armed adults at schools. 30 is too many, we should not even have one mishap with armed adults in schools. All it takes is for one mishap to turn into murder. We can take other actions besides giving teachers guns in the classrooms.

To illustrate, another action that we can take to prevent gun violence in school is to have security on site at all schools. Yes, this has been a solution that has been introduced in some location, but I am not just talking about regular security guards. We need to have armed security guards, that are licensed and trained to handle the hostile type of situations. Every school should have multiple security guards that are monitoring the hallways, cameras, and even the after-school events and practice. It needs to be at least two guards in every hallway and one on every entry and/or exit. These guards should be checking into the classrooms throughout the day and checking around and outside of the school as well.

Aditya0211 2 / 2  
Aug 11, 2018   #2
Watched --> watch the news
Saddens my heart is not academic english.
Dont give the opinion in the second paragraph, reserve it for 3rd paragraph 1st line.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Aug 12, 2018   #3
Jasmine, I am unsure as to whether you have written a research paper or a Task 2 essay for an ELTS practice test. That is why I am lost as to how to steer your essay writing mistakes. I wish that you had been clear about the application of this paper from the very start so that you can receive proper advice. I will assume that you are writing a research paper and offer you comments and advice based upon that assumption.

If this is for a research paper, then it lacks a thesis statement at the end of the opening paragraph. The thesis statement should indicate the intentions of your paper and what topics will be discussed in it. While you do have references indicated for your citations, you do not go on to further explain about the meaning of the thesis statement from a detached point of view. A research paper is normally written from the third person point of view. However, had you made it clear from the start that this is an opinion paper, then using the first person pronouns as you do in some parts of this essay was the correct approach. By the way, the events being discussed here, specifically watching TV are still taking place so the present tense of the verb should have been used (watching).

Your last paragraph does not feel like a concluding presentation for the research paper. There is no clear reference as to what you hope to achieve by this discussion. Why you think your suggestions for school safety will work, and what you actually think of President Trump's suggestion. There is no concluding or closing paragraph presented.


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