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"ability to follow through" - Essay about "Why should I receive this award?"



xiong06jany 1 / -  
Mar 4, 2012   #1
*I wrote an essay for a scholarship I wanted to apply to, but I need help editing my scholarship essay.

During my childhood moments, I remembered going to school every day, not knowing how it will benefit me in the future. I don't see a reason why I have to go to school besides playing and having fun with my friends. I always lack on my homework and watched movies instead of studying.

Every after school during my middle school year, I'm always at the fields working with my parents. Because my parents struggled to earn enough for this big family of fourteen people, my grandparents at an old age also have to work at the fields enduring the hot and raining days. My parents and grandparents went through a massive of hard working just to support us housing, food, clothing, and education. Despite these obstacles, I never allowed these challenges to hinder my dreams. I looked up to my parents who motivated me and the sacrifices they made encouraged me to succeed; I set a goal to myself. Rather than working in the fields all my life and letting all my parents effort go to waste, I chose to turn my unfortunate life into a fortunate opportunity.

Soon after 8th grade, I attended Roosevelt High School. I saw high school as a vent to get closer to my desired career. Starting my freshman year I took rigorous courses and tried my hardest at everything I did. Meanwhile I ponder about becoming a Nurse, I decided to join in the Health Academy program and take their classes. Nevertheless, to remain in the program, I have to sustain my GPA higher than a 2.5. Since then, I maintained my grade with an average of 3.6 GPA throughout my high school years. Besides from keeping up my grades, I have also joined in other clubs such as: California Scholarship Federation, Young Hmong Scholar and FHA- Hero. Not only did I joined in clubs but also volunteered at the Community Regional Medical Center, Special Olympics and did some volunteer work with the Red Cross.

For the last 3 years, I have been taking Gate, Honors and AP classes. I am currently in the top ten percent of my graduating class. My overall GPA is 3.9. All of these achievements are to shape my dream of pursuing a nursing career. To make it happen I wish to attend to California State of University and at least get a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing degree. However, due to a high financial cost needed to attend the University, I needed this scholarship to help me with some of my college tuition.

I deserve this scholarship because I have the ability to follow through with all the hard work that will take me to achieve my dreams and goals. I believe with this scholarship, it will give me the foundation I need to build a better me, and enable me to become a person who will make a difference in my family and my community.

eradulova 7 / 14  
Mar 6, 2012   #2
You essay is strong, personal and you sound like you are self confident in what you want to achieve. But give more reason why you should be a nurse.

good luck :)


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