Essay : Which achievement of Singapore which you interested most.

education in Singapore

A " Tiger Economy of Asia ". A leading country of Economy, Education, healthcare... Singapore nowadays is becoming more and more develop through years and years. A developing country has succeeded in many fields such as Economy, Medical...One of the most impressive achievements cannot but mention as well as the field which I attentive most is successful in the education. In spite of having a good economy, the Government of Singapore is constantly developing education in this country. The education in this country not only support student's knowledge but also social and living skills. Education in Singapore is one of the best systems in the world with many Global schools. 34 universities with high quality in teaching and many reputed schools. Moreover, with the developed method of teaching Singapore is considered having the best education in Asia as well as in the world. The best quality of teaching has created many attractive opportunities for working aboard or good occupation. Singapore is a dream of many students in Asia. The government of Singapore also provide any kind of scholarships for gifted students. They support students from Asia and in the world to come and study. Some programs sponsored all the fees for students such as; acomodations; meals; flight ticket; tuition fee... Not only the government many private schools also facilitate for students with a full scholarship. This policy of Singapore has supported many students come from the moutainous area or with poor condition with talent have a chance of exploring to the world. Their abilities will be constantly developed with a sensible method of teaching and good living environment. Besides the achievements of education of Singapore, reputation institutes, universities. The things which I attentive most about the education of Singapore is each year, there are many various scholarships from many institutes, universities. Like I have mentioned, these things would create many opportunities for students with poor connditions to grow their abilities also a vision to a new developed modern world. This is an amazing thing of the ministry of education and training of Singapore. Its make Singapore becoming more and more developed and modernized. Certainly, The education of Singapore will be more and more develop in the future with a great policy. Singapore will be more developed and soon heading to a new era with the contribution of education.

Watch out for your tenses, punctuation, capitalization, and related content. I recommend that you should be more cautious as well of your sentence structures. There were instances wherein you had created confusing sentence structures. As you are starting out your paragraph, ensure that your first sentence (the topic sentence) would contain all relevant information. Accomplishing this will ensure that you will have a steady direction for the essay.

Let's try to revise a few parts in relation to that.

I would suggest the following for the introduction:
Singapore is branded as Asia's Tiger Economy. A leading country in economy, education, and healthcare, it has experienced rapid developments over the years. [...]

Notice how I tried to make formal the words that you placed. I also tried my best to ensure that I am able to relay the information regarding as academic as possible. Moreover, try to evade using repetitive lines. Instead of saying more and more, try using the word rapid. Instead of saying years and years, try saying just over the years. These techniques will help you pick up a formal tone in your essay. While I know that you find it necessary to repeat certain terms (education, economy, medical/healthcare, etc.) repeatedly, try to find synonymous terms or determiners to tame it down a little.

Apply these all throughout. Best of luck as always.