Can anyone help me with the essay for Endeavour Scholarships and Fellowships application ?

Master of creative industries APPLICATION

Please summarise, in words that can be understood by a person outside your field, details of your proposed leadership activity, why you chose your proposed host organisation and what your proposed leadership activity is intended to achieve. Also provide details, including proposed dates and locations of any proposed fieldwork and/or internships. (300 words)

I chose Master of creative industries program at University of Western Sydney, starting from March 2019.

The immersive training in Master of creative industries including convergent media, mobile media, media research, strategic communication, management, and media arts production through theoretical and practical methods. These courses will provide me new avenues of development and the best path to return to the field.

During the past three years at NTDTV, a renowned alternative Chinese-language news channel headquartered in New York, I gained critical training as a reporter starting from a street reporter, live correspondent to news editor. I enjoy working in the industry, and meanwhile see more challenges in the media landscape. Content creating is still of the most importance for television but connecting with the audience across the broadcast, online and other channels are gaining strategic importance in the industry. Those growing challenges prompted me to expand my horizons and gain a wider range of experience to be more adaptive to the industry. My goal is to become an independent reporter who uses the full range of new media tools to bring a fresh perspective to viewers, and I believe I will develop advanced skills to establish myself as a truly innovative reporter and communications professional through this program provided by UWS.

The program includes a course with an internship placement. The course is called Convergent Media Internship in my second session, and I will have the chance to work with corporate media or community communications division of an organization in Australia to develop documentation/report associated with industry trends or marketing plans. I will know the details of the internship before the session starts.

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I want to make sure if I answered all the questions, and my answers are easy to understand enough.
And if there are any grammatical mistakes please tell me.

Thank you !!

Hello Hsuan,

I don't think your essay properly speaks to the topic in question. While you talked about the internship and the kind of work you will get to do, you didn't speak to the outcome for you as a person. What will it result into for you? Also, don't just say "I will know the details of the internship before the session starts". State the reason why you don't have the information. You want the reader to be aware that there is a particular reason why the information is not available as opposed to thinking you were not thorough.

Lin, your essay does not respond to the question posed by the prompt at all. I believe that your non-responsive writing is because you actually do not know anything about the program that you are hoping to participate in at this point. This is supposed to be leadership activity on your part but you are speaking of an internship where you are not going to be developing any leadership skills. You There are no details about how that might be achieved presented in your essay. There is also a confusion as to the host organization because you first speak of NDTV in New York but towards the end, indicate that you will be working with a media organization in Australia through the internship the program provides. I thought that the NDTV internship was the whole point of this essay?

I believe that this essay is confusing and does not relate at all to the prompt requirements. It would be better for you to write the essay when you have more details to work with. Try to find out specific details in relation to the prompt questions otherwise, I do not believe you will be able to write a proper response essay for this prompt. If you don't have information about the internship program, then there isn't any basis for your application assessment and you will be rejected as an applicant. Don't expect to win a sponsorship if you cannot answer the questions related to your application.

@Holt
@btoguntade

Thanks so much for the feedback, and I tried to find more information about my courses and rewrote some parts.
Could you please check again to see if it's any better?

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I chose Master of creative industries program at University of Western Sydney, starting from March 2019.This two-year program provide a variety of trainings in theoretical and practical methods, which will help me better adapt converged media landscape.

I have been a reporter for almost 3 years. During the past three years at NTDTV, a renowned alternative Chinese-language news channel headquartered in New York, I gained critical training as a reporter starting from a street reporter, live correspondent to news editor. I enjoy working in the industry, and meanwhile see more challenges in the media landscape. Content creating is still of the most importance for television but connecting with the audience across the broadcast, online and other channels are gaining strategic importance in the industry. Those growing challenges prompted me to expand my horizons and gain a wider range of experience to be more adaptive to the industry.

My goal is to become an independent reporter who uses the full range of new media tools to bring a fresh perspective to viewers. The Master degree program has a strong focus on creative ideation with many opportunities to develop solo projects. Under this training, I will able to use some industrial methods to come up with new ideas and get them across the platforms to the different audiences, which at the moment I am not good at, for most time of my career I have been focusing on news reporting, and now it's the best time to develop a new skill set to build the foundation of becoming a truly communications professional.

The program includes a course with an internship placement. The course is called Convergent Media Internship in my second session, and I will have the chance to work with media outlets such as SBS TV, TVSydney or digital agency such as Tigerspike, Cutting edge. This internship will give me the chance to work and interact with some of the best media professionals in Australia. Through the internship, I will gain unique connections and real-world industry cases and exposure that will be tremendously influential in my continued career in Asia.