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Benefit to Home Country Essay - The Impact of My Work

Cardinal 1 / -  
Mar 23, 2017   #1
Please I need help in reviewing this essay (Benefit to Home Country). I am about submitting it.

You are advised in your statement to describe how your proposed plan of study relates to a development need in your sector or country. Say how on your return, you would apply your skills and knowledge and what outcome you hope to achieve.

Academic Work Impact on My Country

Growing up in Nigeria, I have observed the nation to be more of a consuming nation, having most things imported, things ranging from home utensils to electronics, automobiles and other machineries. Nigeria's economy has been highly dependent on oil. This has made her a very unstable economy, shaking at every fluctuation in oil price. This overdependence on oil coupled with an unreliable energy sector has caused the nation's poor performance in other sectors of the economy, making her to be lagging heavily behind in her quest for industrialization. Presently, the manufacturing sector contributes marginally (below 10%) to the country's GDP, where as it has the potentials to turn her economy positively around. The inability to develop parts locally even with the abundant mineral resources in the country has been a serious setback to many industrial activities, especially in automobiles manufacturing. Making many of the vehicle manufacturing industries to be mere assembling plants, since most of the motor parts are imported, where as they can be manufactured locally.

So many government agencies and research institutes have been established to work towards the technological development of the country. Some of these agencies include, the Scientific Equipment Development Institute (SEDI), Raw Materials Research and Development Council (RMRDC) Abuja, National Space Research and Development Agency (NARSDA) etc. Unfortunately, the country is yet to make a landmark achievement in the area of technology development. It is in this regards that acquiring a master's of science degree in Advanced Mechanical Engineering at XXXX University, has become very pertinent towards achieving Nigeria's quest for industrialization, via science, innovation and technology.

Upon my return, my plan is to collaborate with the Scientific Equipment Development Institute towards the development of engineering materials and parts. The Institute having a good number of necessary large scale research facilities and science and engineering professionals will serve as a great nurturing ground for my plans. The knowledge and expertise I must have garnered from the programme, will enable me carryout need-felt researches necessary to the transportation sector, especially the automobile industry in Nigeria that is still in its nascent stage. I will also partner with the UK Science and Innovation Network in Nigeria using my skills and expertise in training and mentoring young persons in science and innovation. Developing vehicle parts locally will lead to effective involvement of skilled and unskilled man powers and hence, creating job at every stage of the development. It will also reduce cost of production of automobiles, making transportation much affordable, thus, alleviating poverty which is one of the ultimate targets of the sustainable development goal of the DFID.

The impact of my work could be measured by communicating the research institute, SEDI, which I shall be working with, and through my research publications in international journals. Photographs of all my works and activities will always be sent to the CSC for their awareness. The resultant progress to be recorded in the automobile parts manufacturing in the country, will also attest to the progress of my works.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,801 4780  
Mar 23, 2017   #2
Cardinal, you need to focus your essay on the country development plans being promoted by the SEDI. The development need that the organization is working on fixing is the problem that you should present in the essay simply because you are saying that you hope to work with them upon your return to your country. Therefore, the essay takes an immediate focus and becomes more interesting when you focus on the problem SEDI is related to. It also eliminates the need to mention other non-related government agencies in the later paragraph. By concentrating on the development need of Nigeria in relation to SEDI, your essay begins to make more sense in terms of discussing how you will apply your skills and how the country can benefit from your additional training, as well as how the success of your post study plans can be measured. The entire essay at the moment is a bit scattered in its presentation because of the existence of the first two paragraphs. If you revise those two portions, the essay should take on a more appropriate form.

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