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The British Council to Help in my Studies? - IELTS scholarship



QuynhNhung 1 / 1  
May 21, 2011   #1
Hello everyone,

The requirement for this essay is 250 words limit and the topic is: To what extent will British Council IELTS Scholarship help you in your studies? - My essay may lack cohesion and have grammatical errors. Could anyone provide some feedbacks? This is also my first post on EssayForum.Thanks for your concerning:)

The role of accountant has been significantly critical to detect international commerce fraud, investigate defaults and consult companies in financial decision making. Accounting information is extremely crucial for both internal and external users so as to assist with various management processes and make determination about the entity. Due to my strong assertion in importance of accountancy to the global business, studying within accounting is my long term education objective.

Since I was little, my passion of mathematics and logistics motivated me to sit an examination of math which was held by a well-known mathematic organization. I was surprised that I got the high distinction mark which was equal with the third prize. At this moment, I was aware of my potential ability which is only appropriate with numbers and statistics. I found out accounting to be conceptually intriguing and quickly discover my proclivity to financial business when I took the first course at accounting center. I am very passionate about the methodology of measuring assets and liabilities category on the Balance Sheet and the changes in owner's equity reflecting a company's financial situation. For this reason, I cherish a hope that I can enhance my knowledge about accounting and desire accounting to be my future occupation.

Furthermore, I am currently pursuing a Bachelor degree with concentration on accounting stream at RMIT University to acquire broaden range of mandatory accounting perception. I also intend to participate in several certificate program classes to become an official member of professional accounting association such as CPA Australia and ICAA program. Therefore, I am willing to attend in professional training; however, the unaffordable fee of bachelor program and accounting training has precluded me from achieving my objectives.

The British Council IELTS scholarship will absolutely strengthen my opportunities to undertake international accounting course and certification program which I cannot defray because of my financial burden. The scholarship can assist me further my competent training which I set target to receive the recognition from professional accounting institutions. In addition, this scholarship base on the purpose of helping students to experience the international education and participate in expert study. Similarly, I always dream of analyzing accounting information and financial knowledge in the international studying environment which in turn accomplish my understanding and broaden my experience. For this reason, this scholarship can facilitate my learning by paying a part of tuition fee which is an indispensable condition to study at university and accounting training program. On the whole, the scholarship provides promising opportunities for me to undertake better learning environment which can advance my knowledge of accountancy. Therefore, I certainly believe that the British Council IELTS scholarship can make a remarkable contribution to my continuing education in the near future.

linmark 2 / 325  
May 21, 2011   #2
Hello Nhung,
Your essay covers your educational aptitude and determination, as well as financial need. However, I missed learning more about you as a person. I would have liked to see something on an important and formative practical (or work) experience. And I felt the last paragraph could be significantly shortened. And the first two paragraphs could be rationalized and streamlined.

Good luck and send another round!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
May 22, 2011   #3
Due to my strong assertion in appreciation for the importance of accountancy in the global business, studying within accounting is my long-term education objective is to use accounting knowledge to _________________(what will you do to make a positive difference in the world?)

Since I was little, my passion of for mathematics and...

Nice job!! This is a strong essay...

:-)


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