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Care. Compassion. Respect. Scholarship essay about values and beliefs I hold strongly to


zoo12345 1 / 1  
Dec 30, 2021   #1

Describe, in less than 300 words, the values and beliefs you hold strongly to.


Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions.


Care. Compassion. Respect. Three words often seen plastered around schools, emphasised again and again through our growing years. Yet, as we grow up, many Singaporeans take them for granted, only expressing these values with those they hold close. A caring and respectful father could be the same man hurling racist insults at foreign workers through the screens that have provided everyone with powerful anonymity. This two-faced community of ours has irked me to no end, and I hence hold strongly to these three main values.

These values have shaped many of my decisions and projects I have embarked on in life. One of my most memorable projects would be my community service project that I started in 2019, where my friends and I volunteered with <local charity organisation> and participated in several fundraising campaigns and interaction sessions with their beneficiaries. My motivations to start the project stemmed from my three basic values: to care for and better empathise with the beneficiaries and help them in any way possible, either through financial support or just providing them a listening ear.

Also, my numerous community service experiences have strengthened my belief that one should be humble enough to learn from people around them. It is impossible for one to be experienced in all aspects of life, and if we are too prideful to learn from those around us, we will live a very narrow-minded and shallow life. There is not one prominent example that I can point out, but talking to relatives, friends and strangers has taught me numerous skills and life lessons that I would not have learnt without listening to and learning from their life experiences.

To conclude, these are the values that I live by and will continue to uphold through my future endeavours and life journey.

-> Hi! Not too sure about my conclusion and please excuse the <local charity organisation>, it might be too identifiable. Does this essay seem too superficial? Also, would it be best to include a specific example for the third paragraph? I left it that way because I wanted to express how I have learnt something from most people around me, not just specific individuals. Thanks in advance!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,303 3989  
Dec 31, 2021   #2
my belief that one should be humble enough to learn

This is not indicated in the opening paragraph. So it changes the representation of your 3 core values and beliefs as the reviewer was beginning to understand it. While the first 2 paragraphs come in strong and related, the third one suddenly pulls the breaks on the discussion, causing the reader to lose track of the actual discussion and how these apply to your character as a person. It would be best if you remove the last paragraph and simply close the essay sooner rather than later. You do not need to meet the 300 word count, you just have to write at least 250 related words for the discussion.
OP zoo12345 1 / 1  
Dec 31, 2021   #3
@Holt
Okay I will make the necessary changes, thank you so much!


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