hello I'm applying for cartoon and animation major in Korea via KGSP-G scholarship I would like help with the personal statement and statement of purpose.
personal statement
My family is a very precious part of my life that I can't do without. They have always been encouraging me since I was young and always advised me to "always be yourself". They have always respected my thoughts and feelings and encouraged me to achieve my dreams and know this, I've gained a lot of self-confidence. When I was young my mother read a lot of books to me, especially Disney's Mickey Mouse comics. It was my first time to know the concept of Comic books. I've fallen in love with the drawings in these books and even though I didn't understand what was written yet, I was able to create the story in my mind through looking at the drawings. For this reason, the first things I started to draw were the Disney characters I used to read all the time. "Dad, when I grow up I'll work in Disney!" I remember telling that to my father when I was young. Therefore I decided that I'm going to apply for Fine Arts College and during high school I studied so hard and prepared for the entrance exam. But the entrance exam results weren't as I have been anticipating. Now that I've to find another road to walk, I decided to study Korean language and literature, the language and culture I've been fascinated with since my first years at high school. Since then I have a dream of studying in Korea. I was so emerged in studying for college that my old dream seemed to vanish a little.
During college years, I didn't only study the language but also the culture and I learned a lot from experiencing the culture. At my first year of college I watched a Samulnori performance by our seniors and I was very impressed that I decided to join the Samulnori team, and so I did. I played two instruments, Janggo(장고) and Kwaenggwari (꾕과리). I played in the team during college days and after graduating as well at many cultural events. In Samulnori the person who plays the Kwaeng is considered the leader or maestro of the group who is responsible for creating harmony between the other players to show an excellent performance, which is similar to a team leader. A leader in a team is responsible for understanding the other members and if the team work between them is good they can achieve high business records. I learned how much team work is very important from being in Samulnori. In 2015 school's vacation I worked in the Korean Culture Center in Egypt as an intern. During the internship, me and my team worked on the cultural events as we managed the events till the end and also worked as an interpreter in many events. Moreover, I've participated in translating books about Korean culture in three translation workshops. After graduation, I studied Korean at the Academy of Korean Studies in Korea for one month. I was able to see the beautiful nature of Korea and also dealing with the Koreans and seeing how they are very warm and generous people especially to foreigners left me very amazed. One month was not enough for me to experience the culture and travel through Korea, that's why I still have to go back again.
When I came back to Egypt, I worked again in the Korean Culture Center as an intern, and taught Korean for beginners. But after trying a lot of things, I still think that drawing and art is what suites me the best. It's not that I hate working as a Korean interpreter but it's not the career that I want to have for all my life, that's why I want to challenge myself in the path I really want. I decided to revive the dream that have disappeared once again. In order to do so, I started taking courses on graphic design first for 4 months which helped me during my internship at the Korean Culture center as they asked me to be a graphic designer. I didn't only practice the language but also designing and understanding the client's thoughts and opinions. After that, I took a course called "Illustration for Books" because I was very interested in Comics and Animation since a young age. Even though the duration of the course was not long but I learned a lot and felt my skills improving more and more, at the end of the course I was able to make my first illustration project. Receiving compliments from my colleagues and instructor made me really proud of myself and I realized that character design and illustration is what I really enjoy doing. As the saying goes "better late than never" I'm applying for Cartoon and Animation major, the major I've always dreamed of achieving.
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Can you please help me if this lacks something or needs change in some parts. I'm writing it in Korean anyway so if there is any grammatical mistakes it's okay.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Ayat, yes, there is something you have to change in the essay. You have to change the whole presentation because you are not informing the reviewer about the data that has been provided in the discussion requirements as the only talking points for this essay. The personal statement should cover the following points:
1. Your motivation for studying in Korea;
2. Your academic and professional experience in relation to the program you are applying to;
3. Your reasons for choosing to study in Korea (what impresses you the most about Korean animation skills as taught in universities that cannot be duplicated in your home country universities);
4. Proof or research abilities and other academic skills that can help the reviewer consider your ability to succeed as a student in the program.
Once you complete the proper essay requirements in essay form, you can come back here for a proper review of your work. Only when you provide me with the proper information can I help you improve your essay presentation for the reviewer to better consider. Just make sure to mark it as URGENT for an additional review in the same thread. Right now, this is not the essay that you can present in relation to required data for the personal statement.
