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'Chemistry' - Essay on achievement of which you are proud (ISU)



Sydney23 1 / -  
Jan 2, 2012   #1
Hi!! I am applying for an ISU scholarship, and the essay prompt is:

Please describe a leadership experience or achievement of which you are proud. Please reflect in detail on what you learned, what skills you gained from the experience, and how you expect them to shape your career at Illinois State University? (500 words max)

If you could just check the grammar and possibly give some feedback, I would be very very grateful! Thank you!

Chemical reactions, stoichiometry, nuclear decay, kinetics...these were topics I was soon going to become very familiar with! Sophomore year of high school, I chose to take Chemistry Honors, but it did not cross my mind to worry about the difficulty of the class. Science classes had been a breeze for me throughout elementary school, so I had no doubt that I would also excel in chemistry. After the first week of classes though, I found myself sitting in my counselor's office, begging him to allow me to drop down to the regular Chemistry class.

Despite my pleading, my counselor advised me to stick with the class. He agreed that chemistry would present some difficulty, but he believed I could pass it. Reluctantly, I settled to continue on with the class. Talking with upperclassmen, I discovered that my chemistry teacher was notoriously known as the toughest teacher at my school. To pair a tough class with a tough teacher? I felt doomed.

Instead of nagging my counselor to get an easy way out, I began working hard to meet my high standards for this class. I was going to get an A regardless of the obstacles in my path. My teacher had an eccentric way of writing notes on the board, jumping from one thought to the next, but I rigorously wrote it all down. I forced myself to pay attention during lectures instead of doodling. The night before a test, I would devote my evening to going through the chapter in my textbook. I made flash cards of vocab words, forcing family members to quiz me on them til I had memorized the definitions. I went through pages of practice problems, converting moles to grams to molecules until I had the conversions stuck in my brain. I also made sure to never miss an extra credit opportunity.

Eventually, the second semester of chemistry came to a close and I faced the most dreadful hurdle...the final. Using the study skills I had practiced all year long, I prepared myself for the difficult test. I was insecure on my ability to pass the test, fearing that no matter how much I studied, it would not be enough. Yet, I confidently walked into the class on the day of the final with two sharp pencils, an eraser, and a brain full of chemistry.

Days later, I looked online to see my final grade. I had passed the test with a 99 percent and ended with an A in the class! This accomplishment made me very proud, not only for passing the class with such a high grade but also for never giving up throughout the year. I learned to be more confident in myself and to not doubt my ability to excel. Now as I enter a new stage in my life at ISU, I am going to take the study skills I have developed and apply them to my college classes. I will continue to push myself with honors classes because a difficult class or teacher cannot hold me back from achieving the most I am capable of.

ciiins 2 / 5  
Jan 3, 2012   #2
Chemical reactions, stoichiometry, nuclear decay, kinetics...these were topics I was soon going to become very familiar with! It was at my second year of high school, when I decided to take Chemistry Honors as my major , but it did not cross my mind that it will be very tough . Science classes had been a breeze for me throughout elementary school, so I had no doubt that I would also excel in chemistry. After the first week of classes though, I found myself sitting in my counselor's office, begging him to allow me to drop down to the regular Chemistry class.
chowkiepowder 2 / 5  
Jan 4, 2012   #3
I thought you talked about the experience too much instead of about yourself. For example, you talked about what you did to accomplish a goal but I wish to learn about what you learned and how this experience changed you as a whole. It would better if you expand on how this experience changed you as a whole person and how it changed your perspective on things.

Good essay by the way. I think this is a good experience to talk about. Keep up and the good work and sorry for the harsh comments (if I offended you)! :D

Chemical reactions, stoichiometry, nuclear decay, kinetics...these were topics I was soon going to become very familiar with! During my Sophomore year(Delete: of high school) , I confidently chose to take Chemistry Honors class. Science classes had been a breeze for me throughout elementary school; so Chemistry Honors class would be easy-peasy.And I remember on the first week, I was sitting the office, begging my counselor to drop me down to regular Chemistry class.

Despite my pleading, my counselor advised me to stick with the class. Although He agreed that chemistry would present some difficulty, he believed I could pass it Just pass it? How about saying it will be a rewarding experience? . Reluctantly, I settled to continue on with the class. Talking with upperclassmen, I discovered that my chemistry teacher was notoriously known as the toughest teacher at my school. To pair a tough class with a tough teacher? I felt doomed. (I don't think this is needed. I have a feeling that it is harsh to say this about a teacher.

Instead of nagging (Not sure if you should add in this word. It is a bit negative) my counselor to get an easy way out, I began working hard to meet my high standards for this class. I was going to get an A regardless of the obstacles in my path. My teacher had an eccentric way of writing notes on the board, jumping from one thought to the next, but I rigorously wrote it all down. I forced (a strong negative word. You sound as if had a painful experience. How about "encouraged". myself to pay attention during lectures instead of doodling (This is not needed. It give the impression that you do not take education that seriously. Sorry if I sound harsh) . The night before a test, I would devote my evening to going through the chapter in my textbook. I made flash cards of vocabulary words, forcingHow about using the word, "asking" family members to quiz me on them til I had memorized the definitions. I went through pages of practice problems, converting moles to grams to molecules until I had the conversions stuck in my brain. I also made sure to never miss an extra credit opportunity.

Eventually, the second semester of chemistry came to a close and I faced the most dreadful hurdle...the final. Using the study skills I had practiced all year long, I prepared myself for the difficult test. I was insecure on my ability to pass the test, fearing that no matter how much I studied, it would not be enough. Yet, I confidently walked into the class on the day of the final with two sharp pencils, an eraser, and a brain full of chemistry.

Days later, I looked online to see my final grade. I had passed the test with a 99 percent and ended with an A in the class! This accomplishment made me very proud, not only for passing the class with such a high grade but also for never giving up throughout the year. I learned to be more confident in myself and to not doubt my ability to excel. Now as I enter a new stage in my life at ISU, I am going to take the study skills I have developed and apply them to my college classes. I will continue to push myself with honors classes because a difficult class or teacher cannot hold me back from achieving the most I am capable of.


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