Chevening Essay for university choices-clear enough

I wil really appreciate some help on this essay for chevening schoolarship. If you find a grammar error please let me know, im workin on my writing in english skills.

i would like to know if i sound clear enough.

this is the question
Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future

¿For how long will this be sustainable? Was the question I asked myself during a field trip to a site construction, when I saw the huge amount of construction precast steel being used in this apartment building my company was designing.

Urban development at my country has increase during the last years, I have been a part of that, we are a growing population that demands urban development and in order to achieve this, environmental issues and environmental aspects of such a development are often taken for granted or just seen as simple requirements, this approach leads to the environmental deterioration that we are experimenting: deforestation and water related issues, this panorama personally concerns me to a professional and a personal scale.

I strongly believe that as a civil engineer I can play a key role in changing this scenario by becoming an environmental consultant which is the career path I want to pursue after my master degree studies in U.K, so I have selected the following courses

1.Cardiff University-MSc Civil and Geo-environmental Engineering:

This course complements my work experience as a designer, since I've been working in structural design more recently foundations, I'm aware that the better we know the behaviour of natural factors as soil and water, the better we can design understand and furthermore previse environmental effects so this course offers me the understanding of this phenomena by providing courses like Engineering Geology and Hydro environmental modelling; also the construction management with the sustainable approach is a plus.

Far beyond of complement what really makes this course be my first choice is the broad multidisciplinary courses option all of them applicable to resolve environmental issues which works perfectly for me wanting to become an environmental consultant.

2.Leeds University-MSc Environmental Engineering and Project Management

Being a consultant often represent dealing with different clients at the same time, incorporate socio economic factors to visualize in an efficient way that brings the less damage, I choose this course because it encompass both skills, at my last work place I some exigent clients where I had to make use of management skills, so this approach will feed those skill complementing with my main goal that is: get a deeper understanding of environmental issues and how to solve them.

Hallo,

My name is Khoti, I will give you feedback:

1. Urban development at my country has increase during the last years... (has been increasing/has increased)

2. You really need to consider the use of connector in order to make coherence among sentences. For example:

Urban development at my country has increased during the last years, in which I have been a part of that.

3. we are a growing population that demands urban development ... (why do you use pronoun "we"? it has no coherence with the last sentence, and it is also inappropriate word to describe what you really mean.)

4. ... and environmental aspects of such a development are often (...) to the environmental deterioration that we are experimenting: deforestation and water related ... (you really need to review vocabularies that you chose, check grammar and add some conjunction or connector)

5. I'm aware that the better we know the behaviour of natural factors as soil and water, the better we can design understand and furthermore previse ... (it should be parallel... do not make connector that is not related to the statement)

6. Please try to make sentence more concise and understandable. if you make like that way, the reviewer will also consider your essay to be eligible

Katiuska, the Chevening scholarship committee requires you to completely present 3 university choices, regardless of whether or not you have already received acceptance to your university of choice. You only have 2 universities listed here which could result in an automatic disqualification of your application. You must add another university to the list in order to ensure the full qualification of your essay response.

Next, you should remove the opening spiel that you wrote. The reviewer doesn't have the time to read through so much prologue. He only wants to read about the 3 universities immediately. Provide that information right away. This is not a creative essay, this is an informative essay and the reviewer doesn't have the time to waste when there are thousands of other applications waiting to be read by him.

Your decision to choose a particular university must be in accordance with your actual professional experience and future requirements of your profession. The explanations you gave are too shallow and only looks at what the course can offer you. The relationship with your professional qualifications need to be better detailed in the essay. More importantly, you should highlight your future career plans in relation to each masters degree that you could potentially be taking at each university.

The essay needs to be revised in order to better reflect the requirements of the prompt. You cannot use a generic opening statement as you have presented in this essay, prior to the list because the specifications must be focused on each university offering rather than a general consideration of your study requirements. Since this is a word limited essay, I strongly suggest you adjust the content in order to better reflect your academic needs, its future professional application, and what qualifications you currently have (in detail) that make you a good candidate for each course.

@Holt
Thank you very much for your reply I will work on that. I still dont have my 3 choice, but I relly want the first one.

Would it be very kind of your part if you give your comments after I edit this essay.
thank you

a bit of advice try to sound a bit more sincere, genuine and words you would probably use on an ordinary day i.e this panorama disturbs me.. doesn't sound genuine show the person who you truly are

@Holt
I have edited my essay. I hope is better than the the previous version. I would be very thankfull if you give some feedback.
I would appreciate some grammar error feedback too, since Im still working on my english grammar skills.

Is the following. There 489 words in it.

After 3 years of experience I have gained valuable technical skills related to infrastructure design and construction. In this field natural factor such as soil and water get highly affected, therefore the assessment of environmental problems regarding these factors needs to be incorporated in the development of all civil works.

Cardiff University-MSc Civil and Geo-environmental engineering is my first option since it provides a wide scientific foundation as well as advanced engineering tools needed to solve a variety of environmental issues. A comprehensive understanding of soil and groundwater chemistry combined with advanced geo and hydro modeling techniques is necessary in the remediation and prevention of pollution caused for waste produced by construction and other types of industries.

Geology engineering module will strengthen the technical skills to solve engineering problems related to geo-environmental risks in site placement.
Finally, being involved in different construction projects has made me realize that existing regulation and management tools at my country should be improved to foster sustainability in construction, the environmental law and construction management modules will allow me to apply innovative strategies to the field of environmental assessment in this sense.

Due to unplanned urban development and construction there are several water relate issues in Panamá. Through the Water management and waste water management modules at the MSc Environmental Engineering and Management course at Leeds University I will gain deeper understanding in this field to be prepared to apply planning strategies in order to improve water availability and urban drainage, as well as the engineer knowledge to design water treatment facilities. Furthermore these 2 integrated modules will allow me to participate in key projects that are currently evolving in Panama regarding sustainable development which include: conservation of the river basin of the Panama Canal and the sanitation of the panama bay.

Additionally, solid waste management is a major urban problem in my country; in which the government is looking towards new of legislation, therefore professionals in the field of environmental engineering need to be prepared to face this challenge. By taking de solid waste management and the circular economy modules I will have access to sound scientific and technical knowledge to treat different kinds of solid waste and will be able to contribute in the development of new policies in my country by applying circular economy concepts.

A very important element in any type of project is the development of an appropriate environmental impact assessment study as well as the subsequent environmental management plan, in this area the use of tools such as GIS has increased recently due to its numerous applications to evaluate environmental impacts in a spatial scale. Through the module of GIS at University of Aberdeen's MSc in Environmental Management, I will understand the application of this software and gain practical experience using this powerful tool. Furthermore I will also have the opportunity to use this knowledge in other areas besides environmental impact assessment such as hydrological and hydrogeological modeling.