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Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? Master of Sustainable Energy (for AAS)

bangrevo 1 / -  
Apr 3, 2024   #1
Hi everyone, please kindly check my essay for AAS 2025 intake. Thank you so much for your help!

It is undeniable that greenhouse gas emissions resulting from energy production such as fossil fuels electricity generation significantly accelerate the effects of climate change in Indonesia. As an auditor in PLN (state-owned enterprises that manage electricity) specialized in auditing climate risk management and renewable energy transition implementation of business units, I have found that PLN needs every highly knowledgeable person in those areas, especially for evaluating climate risk mitigation of energy transition. I feel that I have greater responsibility to take an active role in achieving net-zero emissions. Transitioning to carbon-free forms of energy is a complex problem; this has socio-economic risks for countries dependent on fossil fuels about 70,64%. The right strategy is needed to exploit climate-related risk between regulations, emerging technology options and theoretical economic solutions for energy transition and sustainability.

Australia has expertise in technology solutions for renewables. In 2023, the Australian Government also developed its first national climate risk assessment and national adaptation plan to make evidence-based decisions responding to these climate risks through net-zero emissions. These are the reasons for me to pursue my master's degree in Australia. I choose the Master's Program in Sustainable Energy (Management) at The University of Queensland. I want to deepen my knowledge and skills in identifying climate risks to design strategies to tackle climate change and its related fields. They offered Energy Transitions in Industrial Processes and Economics of Climate Change modules which interest me because advanced technical aspects of energy transition and the calculation for climate mitigation are essential knowledge for uplifting my skill to identify climate risks. Also, it helps me to contribute in helping Indonesian people through my institution.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Apr 12, 2024   #2
You are too focused on explaining your professional reasons for choosing to study in Australia, which is usually discussed in a more relevant prompt requirement. In this statement, you are expected to discuss 2 university and course choices in relation to your theoretical needs for education in your field of work. The reviewer expects to hear from you about the reasons why you chose to study the courses at these Australian schools. You have severely limited his ability to learn about these information, which would help to prove that you will complete the course as a scholar, by choosing only 1 university and focusing on your career path for this discussion. You have to totally revise your response to reflect how you chose the universities and courses instead.

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