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the College JumpStart Scholarship - How will this help you achieve your goals?



MaryTran93 3 / 2  
Feb 11, 2011   #1
The majority of the students in America decide to attend colleges based on their major. However, every student who aspires to attend an excellent school will most likely have a great deal of expenses to pay off for many years to come. Whether it is a private or a public institute, many students are vastly hesitant to apply because of the colossal price for a college education. However, there are plenty of scholarships that will aid students, such as the College JumpStart Scholarship.

The largest educational expense is usually the tuition. It ranges from a few thousand dollars per year for an in-state college to $35,000 or more for private colleges. My goal is to attend the most equitable college possible for me without requesting any student loan and pay my debts after graduating. Tuition is the most determining aspect of furthering my education. If the JumpStart Scholarship helped me pay some portion of my tuition it would reduce the chances of being in debt after college.

Besides tuition, being the next largest expense are books. The hardcover science and math books tend to be the most expensive. Because I will be majoring in biology, I will have to purchase science and math books of this type, which are necessary to advance in my education. Winning this scholarship will assist me with my book payments each semester.

I intend to use the scholarship money for educational purposes to reduce my parent's stress, and raise my confidence in achieving my goals.

250 WORDS ONLY!

tessardiaz 2 / 4  
Feb 11, 2011   #2
I think you might need to adjust it to how the money will benefit you and what you plan on doing in your major and why then explain your financial situation because from me reading it, it sounds like a fact sheet.
jackrw 2 / 9  
Feb 19, 2011   #3
First paragraph:

I am facing (blabla) problem which is eating/bothering the vast majority of American college students.

Second paragraph:

I intend to apply ... scholarship that will ease a great deal of the ongoing (or not) burden and pressure that college tuition fee has been being on me.

Try to shorten the background and relate your case with it.

Just for your reference. =) Susan has picked out a very strong point. You can move on from that point.
Sesa 1 / 1  
Mar 4, 2011   #4
I feel first paragraph doesn't make sense. Because you have to write how will the scholarship help in achieving your goal. First paragraph it more look like you are marketing a scholarship. You are saying how scholarship help student. But you have to focus how scholarship will help in achieving your goal.


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