"Be consistent in doing what you believe is true despite critics" - NTU essay

Hello,everyone.
I am applying for NTU scholarship.It needs an essay with topic "The Values and Beliefs You Hold Strongly to".
Its whole topic is:Describe, in less than 300 words, the values and beliefs you hold strongly to. Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions.

Here is my essay. I hope someone could give me some comments and advice to improve it=)

"Be consistent in doing what you believe is true despite critics, as one day time will definitely prove that what you believe is that valuable and meaningful", this is a saying which always reminds me. Since I came into secondary school, I decided to challenge myself, which is getting the highest score in math examination in my class. At the beginning, many of my friends laughed at me. They told me not to be naïve as the education in countryside which I came from must not better than cantonal. I neglected them as I think that although we came from different primary school but we accepted the same education now! I pay all the attention during the math lesson and persevere in finishing all my math homework every day. I also asked teachers when I can't figure out some calculations. After several months, my mathematical skills improved! At the end, I become the most excellent person and always get the highest score in math examination in my class. Critics exist everywhere in our world, no matter they are good or bad for us. We must learn to accept then be consistent in doing what we believe! One day, you will find that your perseverance is worthy.

As the saying, "Honesty is the best policy". Exactly, honesty is basically value in our life. So, I never be dishonest. For example, while I was checking my answer sheet, I found that my teacher had inadvertently awarded me extra marks in my biology examination. I told my teacher and had the extra marks deducted with regretless. For me, if something is not belonged to me, I shall not obtain.

Base on my value and belief, I am sure I will be studious and persistent in my lessons to let NTU be proud of me.

Please correct me.I need to submit before 15Jan.Thank you=)

Check your tense


You can replace "as" by another word such as because, seeing that... Avoid repeating


'different primary schools'


This is wrong sentence. Don't use 'but' here. Replace it with a comma


Check your tense


This is sentence fragment.


'I am never dishonest'

Your essay is not good. You should improve your grammar fist.

Thank for your advices=)
I will improve myself in grammar=)

Is it better now?=)

"Be consistent in doing what you believe is true despite critics, as one day time will definitely prove that what you believe is that valuable and meaningful", this is a saying which always reminds me. Since I came into secondary school, I decided to challenge myself, which was getting the highest score in math examination in my class. At the beginning, many of my friends laughed at me. They told me not to be naïve as the education in countryside which I came from must not better than cantonal. I neglected them because I think that although we came from different primary schools, we accepted the same education now! I pay all the attention during the math lesson and persevered in finishing all my math homework every day. I also asked teachers when I can't figure out some calculations. After several months, my mathematical skills improved! Finally, I became the most excellent person and always got the highest score in math examination in my class. Critics exist everywhere in our world, no matter they are good or bad for us. We must learn to accept then be consistent in doing what we believe! One day, you will find that your perseverance is worthy.

As the saying, "Honesty is the best policy", we must take honesty as basically value in our life. So, I am never dishonest. For example, while I was checking my answer sheet, I found that my teacher had inadvertently awarded me extra marks in my biology examination. I told my teacher and had the extra marks deducted with regretless. For me, if something is not belonged to me, I shall not obtain.

Base on my value and belief, I am sure I will be studious and persistent in my lessons to let NTU be proud of me.

I only have1 day leave...so, please be quick to give me comments...Thank you very very very much=)

A few suggestions...
"Be consistent in doing what you believe is true despite critics, as one day time will definitely prove that what you believe is thatinvaluable and meaningful", this is a saying which always reminds me [ this is a saying that always comes to my mind

They told me not to be naïve as the education in countryside whichwhere I came from must not better than cantonal.

I neglectedignored them

thanks=]