Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width   Posts: 7


(Dance Performance Major) Personal Statement for 2013 AMA Scholarship



009july 1 / 3  
Jul 2, 2012   #1
Hello, i'm from Indonesia. Firstly i'm very sorry for my poor english and grammatical errors :D
I'm while trying a scholarship from Korean National University of Art (KNUA) and i take major of dance performance
For the essay, they have several questions like these :
1. What is your intended purpose of applying AMA Scholarship program at KNUA?
2. How will you contribute from the education gained at KNUA after completong the program?

it must be on 250-500 words in this is my essay.

In this battlefield called life, good things won't come with magic, they require fighting, suffering and even agony. People have dream and want to live it, so do i but not all people take any step to reach their dream but i do. Grew up in environment that apprehensive about limitations make me know a power called effort. Dreaming to become a dance performer demands my effort mentally and physically more than anything. I had to deal with skeptics and their doubts about dance, decreased my sleep time to keep practicing while my parents only know i was just wasting my time and sometimes i loose my confidence when any proud parents elevate their children whom being a doctor, architec and other high intelligence career while i stay up loving dance. I won't blame them, they just don't know how dance affects my life.

I once got a chance to perform on national-scale event held by a church,with intensive training i learnt how to always give my best, work hard and sacrifices and have a genuine heart to share movement, to share life. People around me is still underestimating dance career and many times i had to face two choices, the easiest one is to throw my dream, take another normal college and fit in like my friends and the second is to keep my dream, stand up and make a change. My head prefer the first choice but my heart speaks louder, so i reconcile them and i take the second also this chance.

Many friends asked me what's so special about being a dancer and my answer is because i love what i do, i do what i love and this was my way to infuse spirit to others. With these reasons attached well on my mind, i decided to take major of dance performance. There's no college or any art institution that provide a major course of dance performance in Indonesia so with this opportunity i want to pursue them in KNUA . I want to take a brave step with KNUA to pursue my dream and with the work hard, i believe there will be no wall between me and my dream. With the best facilities, supports, teachers and visions KNUA has, i believe i go to the right place to maintain education, experience and the value of life. For me KNUA provides a good chance to expand my ability not only in artistic sector but also in social treatment. I challenged myself a year ago to take 2012 AMA Scholarship and being faltered, but this year i want to seize this opportunitty without hesitation. A better me is the best gift for my generation and hopefully with the education i gained at KNUA i can be a better me to influence society and even world with remarkable impact. I might be not the best dancer yet but i always set up excellence as my finish line.

Thank you for your consideration.

i'm not confidence with my grammar and word choices, if you would like to correct me, it's really my pleasure.
Thank You very much! :D

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 2, 2012   #2
In this battlefield called life, good things won't come withhappen like magic.(make a full stop here)tT hey require hardworking, determination, perseveranceand sometimes fighting out all odds by sacrificing many pleasures , suffering and even agony .

fine start : ).... I changed the tone with a positive note because this is the chance you've got to convince the reader about your strengths
OP 009july 1 / 3  
Jul 2, 2012   #3
wow, thank you very much for your revision! it helps me a lot.
umm, may i ask a question? what's your mean with 'make a full stop'?
thank you :D
BachChaconne2 1 / 94  
Jul 3, 2012   #4
I edited only the first paragraph.


  • Grace Juliet, Personal Statement for 2013 AMA Scholarship - Dance Performance Major
OP 009july 1 / 3  
Jul 3, 2012   #5
wow, thank you very much, i looks like my essay has the biggest grammar error ever hahaha, thank you for your help :D
BachChaconne2 1 / 94  
Jul 3, 2012   #6
looks like my essay has the biggest grammar error ever hahaha

Actually, much of what I crossed out was unnecessary content. I tried to help you refocus your essay.

Remember: These are my suggestions only. The essay's construction is ultimately up to you.

Keep following your heart!
OP 009july 1 / 3  
Jul 3, 2012   #7
okay, i get it! thank you very much for your suggestion :D i really appreciate it


Home / Scholarship / (Dance Performance Major) Personal Statement for 2013 AMA Scholarship
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳