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'I developed strong interest' - I chose three universities that have courses which match my interest

Firag 3 / 12  
Nov 4, 2016   #1
Hi all, I have decided to post a paragraph a time and then developing the rest after it is final, finding it a best way for to write the essay.

Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.

I drafted a full essay and will appreciate you comments and suggestions.

Although graduating as a Linguist, I developed strong interest in Information and Communication Technology during my first year of the study at university. I started focusing on ICT, by undertaking additional classes as I understood the importance of technology in improving socio-economic and environmental aspects of life. Using the limited resources available in the remote mountainous region I lived at the time, I gained sufficient knowledge in IT, which enabled me to start teaching ICT in my second year at the University as a volunteer. After graduation I chose ICT as my profession joining organisation which goal is to provide better access to education and healthcare, development of agricultural and energy sectors. Working with western expat in Sustainable Development with focus on ICT for over 14 years, I gained valuable knowledge and developed an interest and understanding the importance of making accessible a sustainable living to the community mostly cut from the rest of the world and a country as whole. Realising that being successful in this field I need to be equipped with advanced knowledge in the chosen area I decided to undertake graduate study in ICTs for Development. I chose three universities that have courses that much my interest most perfectly.

1. Royal Holloway University of London. Practising Sustainable Development (Information and Communication Technologies for Development) MSc
Being one of the very few courses in ICT for sustainable development offered in UK, the course combines an understanding of key theories and how technologies can be applied in diverse sectors such as health and education. It will give me knowledge at an advanced level of the relationships between ICT and social, economic, political and environmental aspects of sustainable development. Additionally the Community Volunteer Project offers an independent volunteer project which will give me practical experience in gaining sustainability related work experience in a non-for profit organisation that will also enhance my employability.

2. The University of Manchester. MSc ICTs for Development
My second chose fell on this course because the interdisciplinary approach makes the course very attractive to me. The approach gives options to choose from range of courses, such as ICT's & Socio-Economic Development, Planning and Managing Development and Research Skills Development that meet my personal and professional interests and will give me ability to analyse the role of national policy in promoting effective developmental use of ICT, project planning and management methods and how to select and use them in development contexts.

3. University of Sussed. Sustainable Development (formerly titled Innovation for Sustainable International Development)
Focusing on UN's Sustainable Development Goals Strategies to address these challenges that are needed for developing countries to tackle such issues as social inequality, limited access to education and health sector, offering use of technological innovation into effective development policies achieve real sustainable development. The multidisciplinary and international orientation makes it attractive to me in addition to the core modules such as Governing and Using Technology for Development Policy Making and Policy Analysis taught by leading experts will allow me pursue my goal of contributing to the development of my country.
VeronG 2 / 2  
Nov 4, 2016   #2
I think you shouldn't waste words by the introduction you made. how about getting straight to the point, linking your various course choices with your undergraduate knowledge in the field and your experience. Pointing out what those courses offers that will beef up the knowledge u already have or curb the loops where you lack.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,051 4255  
Nov 4, 2016   #3
Firuz, what are the reasons behind your choices for the course and universities? Does it have any connection with the UK programs in your country? I think that you need to rethink your essay review process. As a reviewer, I would prefer to review the entire essay as you have drafter it because my comments should be based on the entirety of the essay and the improvements to the content or style should be reflected throughout the essay. Doing the review by part means that the advice will constantly adjust to the new content and quite possibly, have you constantly revising the whole essay as we progress. Please reconsider your editing style as it will not be good for the overall form and content of the paper.
OP Firag 3 / 12  
Nov 4, 2016   #4
Hi Mary, the reason for me choosing the courses is to be part of the growth and development of my country contributing to it via my experience with theories and best practices that the courses will offer.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,051 4255  
Nov 5, 2016   #5
Hi Firuz, I really believe that this essay is one of the best that I have come across for the Study in UK prompt of Chevening on this forum. Your presentation is clear and offers an opportunity for the reviewer to actually understand how you will benefit from any of the course studies. It is the perfect paper to support your post study career plan.

Now, the only aspect of the essay that I had hoped to see but failed to do so was in the area of the connection of the UK programs in your country relating to ICT or Linguistics. Did I miss something in the essay or did you not find any connection between the two? It would really increase the perfection of your essay if you can deliver the necessary connection between the two as provided by the prompt. Overall though, good work and if you did not need the UK connection, I would say that the essay is all set for use.
OP Firag 3 / 12  
Nov 5, 2016   #6
Thank you Mary for the comments. I am really glad to hear that. That all is thanks to yours and other contributors comments on this extremely useful website, I will just need to reduce the size by 9 words ):

The connection of the UK programs in my country relating my course choice need to be mentioned in the career plans question -- "Chevening is looking for individuals who have a clear post-study career plan. Please outline your immediate plans upon returning home and your longer term career goals. You may wish to consider how these relate to what the UK government is doing in your country. (minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)"
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,051 4255  
Nov 5, 2016   #7
Hi Firuz, let me explain myself more clearly, I believe I misspoke when I mentioned the connection. You see, when you speak of your future plans, that should include an overview reference to the connection of the UK to your plans for study. Some of the students here opt to present a sneak peek into their post study plans by relating the two in terms of how the course of study can help them with their future career goals and plans. Some, have ideas relating to performing internships while in the UK, which can help them further improve upon their academic skills. I believe that in your line of work, such a connection, between Linguistics and how you can further develop those skills through practical application while in the UK is important. These are connections that you can mention at the end of each course and university choice if you wish to do so. Otherwise, you are right and you can just mention the connection in the career plan. I was trying to enhance your essay on a different scale by bringing in the connection a little early as an overview.
OP Firag 3 / 12  
Nov 5, 2016   #8
I see your point now. It means about 15 more words per last 3 paragraphs. I am already over the max 500 words ):
Do you think it is still alright to submit it like this?
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,051 4255  
Nov 5, 2016   #9
In all cases where a maximum word count is indicated, you must follow the instructions. Now, don't worry about going over the word count. Go over the count as much as you need to in your draft. I'll be here to help you figure out which parts to summarize, delete, or reduce in length. In other words, it's going to be my problem to help you bring that count down. We need to make the essay as long as possible, inclusive of all the necessary information because it is easier to shorten an informed essay than it is to lengthen a less than informed essay. That said, you should go ahead and increase the word count by writing what needs to be written. The essay will be better for it. We can always take away sentences from the non-essential aspects of the essay. I'll be standing by to help you out.
OP Firag 3 / 12  
Nov 6, 2016   #10
I came back home a year ago. Removing the part about my wife, how else would you suggest reduce the word count? It is just that I have only one day left to finalise this one and write my last essay on my career plans.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,051 4255  
Nov 6, 2016   #11
I don't see any more reason to remove anything else from the essay at this point. In fact, we are bordering on too much information at this point. However, since you believe that this new paragraph that you developed is important to the essay, then you should go with it. Otherwise, the original essay as we edited it was already good enough to use. Just make sure to clarify that you went home to your home country a year ago. Just in case the reviewer wonders about your statement.

I guess you might say that you are just hedging your bets by adding more information to the essay. So stop worrying about it. You have done your best, the rest, is up to the reviewer's impression of you on paper. There is nothing more we can do at this point except to submit the essay and wait for the results. I know that your essay will be given the proper consideration it deserves.
OP Firag 3 / 12  
Nov 6, 2016   #12
I agree with you on that and will use the version from the post #4 and submit it.
Wanted to thank you for all your contributions made to improve my essay.
I am going to post my last essay later today and really hope to see your comments there too.

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