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The dream of most students; Scholarship essay



muizzkhan 1 / 1  
Apr 22, 2013   #1
Introduction :
Obtaining a scholarship is most students' dream; especially if one is going to a developed country like Japan from a developing country like Bangladesh for higher education. Scholarships have unique benefits and are the most desirable form of financial aid and financial assistance is a necessity for many college students, particularly those planning careers that require many years of education beyond the undergraduate level.

Education :
I have always chosen challenging courses, and have a very good academic record. My academic achievement is demonstrated by my scores, I secured G.P.A 5.00 in the scale of 5.00 in S.S.C and 74% marks in GED. I was also an active participant in Annual sports each year where I secured various prizes and learned to interact with people, communicate with them and collaborate as a team ; and increased my analytical skills and concentration .

volunteer work :
I was also active outside of high school, participated in a fair amount of community service, like volunteer at an animal shelter, planning a memorial day program , collecting money for a good cause etc. By doing this my productivity increased ,I learned new skills and most importantly I felt better about myself by making others happy.

language and skills:
Sometimes for covering my expenses I tutored junior students which has taught me to work diplomatically and successfully with a wide variety of students, I taught drawing, basic English, mathematics to junior students.

I have also developed good leadership language skills, and know how to interact with a wide variety of other people while working part time in a shop , Where I was the translator between foreigner and Bangladeshi people and helped organize different Cultural programs to entertain our guests every weekends .

goals:
To be successful in my work, i must acquire a vision . This vision will help me create a passion within myself, a love for what i do and the benefit it brings others as well as myself . Since I want to become an Investment banker in the future I must work and get a good degree from aboard. I have self-confidence in my communicative ability, ability to synthesize, creativity and analytical skill which I think it will be my advantage for my future major .

Benefits of scholarship :
a scholarship will make my education and career goals easier to obtain and also the stress level on my parents will be greatly reduced. Not to mention by reducing financial concerns, scholarships can also mean more time for studying and learning, which can lead to better grades and retention of knowledge and increase my chances for continuing on to graduate school. The students who receive scholarships are mostly hardworking and meritorious; earning a prestigious or merit-based scholarship can actually make me a more attractive job candidate. Employers who understand the competitive nature of the scholarships will recognize it as an accomplishment. Thus a scholarship will assist me greatly in reaching my educational and career goals.

word -count 498
Proofreading is required for this essay..
And also it need to be with in 300 WORDS
any suggestions is appreciated to omit any words or lines, also needs organizing :S
Thank You in advance !
Cheers

limacon - / 1  
Apr 22, 2013   #2
If they don't specifically ask for it, leave out the little headings like "education" and such.
My edits are in green.

Most students dream of obtaining a scholarship, especially students who are going from developing countries like Bangladesh to developed countries like Japan for higher education. Scholarships have unique benefits and are the most desirable form of financial aid. This type of financial assistance is a necessity for many college students, particularly those planning careers that require many years of education beyond the undergraduate level.

I have a very good academic record and have always chosen challenging courses. I have demonstrated my academic achievement through my grades and scores by securing a 5.00 GPA (out of 5.00) in S.S.C. and 74% marks in GED. I was also an active participant in annual sports, where I secured various prizes, learned to collaborate with others , and increased my analytical skills and concentration .

In addition to my high grades and participation in sports, I was also active outside of my school. I have been involved in volunteering at an animal shelter, planning a memorial day program, and collecting money for good causes. Through these activities, I increased my productivity, learned new skills, and felt better about myself because I was able to make others happy. I also tutored junior students in drawing, basic English, and mathematics, which taught me to work diplomatically with many types of students. I have also developed good language skills through working part time in a shop. There, I served as the translator between foreigner and Bangladeshi people, in addition to organizing different cultural programs to entertain our guests every weekend.

To be successful in my work, I must acquire a vision. This vision will help me create a passion within myself-a love for what I do and the benefit it brings myself and others. Since I want to become an investment banker in the future, I must work hard and get a good degree from abroad. I have self-confidence in my creativity, communicative abilities, ability to synthesize, and analytical skills. I believe these strengths will help me pursue my future major.

This scholarship will make my education and career goals easier to obtain. Also, by reducing my family's financial concerns, this scholarship will allow me more time for studying and learning. This will lead to better grades and retention of knowledge, which will increase my chances of continuing on to graduate school. Students who receive scholarships are mostly hardworking and meritorious, and earning a prestigious merit-based scholarship will make me a more attractive job candidate. Employers who understand the competitive nature of this scholarships will recognize it as an accomplishment. In these ways, this scholarship will assist me greatly in reaching my educational and career goals.
OP muizzkhan 1 / 1  
Apr 22, 2013   #3
thanks!! i just gave the headlines so that i can organize them to different sections. And i will omit them before sending it to them...

i still need to make it within 300 words T-T aint that a bummer ...
dumi 1 / 6793  
Apr 25, 2013   #4
Obtaining a scholarship is most students' dream especially students who are going from developing countries like Bangladesh to developed countries like Japan for higher education.

Obtaining a scholarship is a dream of many students, especially the ones who live in developing countries like Bangladesh. For them, receiving higher education in Japan is really a very colorful dream.

Scholarships have unique benefits and are the most desirable form of financial aid and financial assistance is a necessity for many college students, particularly those planning careers that require many years of education beyond the undergraduate level.

... well... this is true, but everybody including your admission panel knows about this. Tell them something unique and something relevant to you.


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