@Holt could you please help me with a review for my aplication for UGRAD program please, I would be thrilled to have your feedback in order to know how good is my application:3
Global UGRAD Program application
From an early age, I have always been characterized by being an energetic, hardworking and ambitious individual with a cheerful countenance, and at heart, a dreamy child, and one of those dreams that I strongly believe every child probably had was to be traveling around the world, even though I did not know how I was going to achieve it but my father, a true visionary, led our family trough education even though our economic limitations and that motivated me to dream big, so I learnt that with the necessary preparation and knowledge, I could go anywhere, so I got down to work and set out on my path, I never gave up, I always believed that I was going to get it and that led me to be involved in many activities during my life in order to get new skills and teamwork qualities, either being part of sports teams since I was 5 years old, participating in dance groups in my community at an early age, attending events such as competitive debates in my high school, being the captain in groups like marching bands throughout my elementary and high school years and participating in volunteer activities such as blood donations or simply personal volunteering such as donations of clothing, books and study materials within my community, and now, after a lot of learning, dedication in my studies and discipline with my purposes, my hopes of achieving my dream, begin to seem much more real than ever since I noticed about UGRAD program.
I love the idea of traveling and going outside my country and even more so if the main purpose is based on the acquisition of knowledge to develop myself as a person and professional, and the maturity and experiences that I have faced throughout my life in my country Nicaragua, have let me found what I want and what we need in the world, and that is leadership, a model in which new generations can see themselves reflected and inspire them to be better every day and I am really focused on be that kind of model for my country and that helped me to find out that I would be a great participant for the program.
I have seen a lot of difficulties in my community and since I realized I can be an elemental part of a change because of the abilities and the potential I have, I am going to create that way by applying in these programs which I know, it provides the perfect condition and environment to get it, as the United States of America has been a politically diverse and stable nation which could provide me a platform to identify the principal factors for a better educational and develop system for my people, and to me, this opportunity is not just about getting an experience, but about interacting and sharing with people from different cultures, religions, mentalities and contexts on a new environment which provides me the necessary knowledge in order to make others believe in their vision as I believed, because at the end, it is all about unity.
I always had the ability to be very consistence with my goals, and I never lose faith on it, and now, I am more than aware about what I want for my life, for my family and my country, if I am selected for this program, I will continue to apply what I would learn and the leadership that I have been developing little by little to represent my nation abroad and demonstrate that we can all be leaders.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,217 4648
The essay is too self centered. Being a Global UGrad participant, the applicant should show a sense of community and civic duty that can be shared with the world. What makes the applicant unique in this case is how he manages to share himself with his community in a manner that may benefit the world in the future.
As far as the information in this essay goes, the reviewer is going to look for traits both personal and social that you can bring to the improvement of the program. It must be an interesting point of view or sharing of skills that will help in the exchange of diplomatic relationships between the participants. Simply being interested in traveling, and making the acquisition of knowledge a sidebar to that interest defeats the purpose of the program. These 2 self centered reasons are why the essay is not good at all and will disqualify the applicant from consideration.