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Erasmus Master Scholarship Essay - motivation for choosing the GLOCAL programme

vania 6 / 12 2  
Dec 3, 2018   #1

Supporting Personal Statement:

I am applying for the GLOCAL-Global Markets and Development pathway which connecting my education of accounting, my interest and experience in entrepreneurship, my professional experiences in project financing and management in order to establish a business that contributes to economic development as an entrepreneur in creative industry.

I have been involved in creative industry ever since my undergraduate days. It was driven by my desire to explore my passion in arts and entrepreneurship. My first professional experience started when I was partnering in starting and running a culinary business which from it I learned about managing resources and setting up goals. A year later, I started a fashion business on my own. I planned and managed every aspect of the business and employed local talents in designing, marketing, and producing the goods.

I was inspired by my parent's businesses that promoted traditional cloths from Indonesia. However, the same obstacles that caused my businesses to be stagnant are the same challenges that obstruct the family business to sustain. Product development, innovation, and marketing aspects are the most challenging obstacles besides financing and management. Data from Indonesian Agency of Creative Economy (BEKRAF) and Indonesia Central Bureau of Statistic show that these aspects also hamper the growth of Indonesia's creative industry. The data in 2017 shows that 97,36% of its players still only market their products locally. Thus, these show that GLOCAL will help me to explore more about these aspects to address the issues and equipped me with knowledge and skills of analyzing globalized economy, innovation for companies in emerging sectors, and marketing in order to contribute in improving Indonesia creative economy.

Having the initial experience in running business that was not successfully managed leading to failure in scaling-up. I decided to take a temporary pause in entrepreneurship but to broaden my perspectives and knowledge in business and skills in financing, management, and business administration from working for others. In the moment, I am working as a finance officer and my main responsibility is controlling cost. I implemented my ability in analysing data and financing when the costing in a specific project had de-railed and was spiraling out of control creating such tension among department. I was successful and we all managed to get through cutting unnecessary cost.

In 2016, I organised a training of taxation conducted by PT Prime Service in Batam. It was attended by tax officers in several private companies and equipped them with knowledge and skills in preparing Transfer Pricing Documentation.

In 2017, I participated in organising Indonesia Expose in New Delhi. It was a platform where business communities and traders both from Indonesia and India met to trade in goods and services. This networking increased investments in both countries. I was assigned in team of planning and offering sound operational and tactical advice where required to achieve the program goals. I gained a lot of knowledge about the trade collaboration between both countries.

Recently I also participated in Indonesia International Geothermal Convention and Exhibition 2018. It was an occasion which promotes and advances broader collaboration and innovation amongst geothermal's stakeholders with motivation to accelerate the development of geothermal energy for future energy supply.

Throughout my career, I have developed more profound skills in both accounting with taxation and financial management in a multinational scale. Nevertheless, I have come to a realisation that those individual experiences or knowledge need to be enhanced in a global market and entrepreneurial context in order to pursue my career plan as an entrepreneur in creative industry.

My dissertation would discuss the analysis of foreign market entry strategy for Indonesian SMEs of Creative Industry by analysing the motivation, barriers, factors for internationalisation such as social an business network, and international entrepreneurship. SME which born as a global firm will play an important role in the world economy. This dissertation will explain key characteristics of internationalisation of creative industries. I hope that this dissertation will help the readers to understand how the born global firms internationalise and later on help the micro companies in Indonesia to scaling-up their business to global market.

Indonesia is so rich in her cultural heritage and arts. Nevertheless, from my recent visit in certain areas, I found that many local artists have difficulties to make a decent living from their artworks. By completing the Master's program, I aim to create a sustainable business that sells pieces of artworks mainly from local talents in creative industry and empower local resources to compete with global market. I want to make a change and re-invent the products to meet the global market demands using my extensive network to make this possible.

I also aim to be a mentor to potential newcomers in entrepreneurship and creative industry after running the business in the following 5 years. This experience will allow me to mentor potential newcomers in creative industry under the structure of Indonesian Association of Young Entrepreneur or under the umbrella from the Ministry of Cooperatives and SME and BEKRAF to give back to the society. Furthermore, Indonesia has low number of educated entrepreneurs who able to run their business successfully. In lieu with the policies set by the government, my set skills will be highly sought after upon my graduation and I can positively contribute to my country.

I believe GLOCAL offers the opportunities to learn fundamentals on making innovations and together with traditional ones, which are, align with my career plan as an entrepreneur who empower local creativity. Learning from historical and cultural perspectives on global economy, marketing and mass consumption will equipped me with skills of problem solving to create solutions for difficulties faced in the industry. This program also will help me learn from cases that will be a tool to tackle current global market situation.

The opportunity to study in prestigious Universities in Europe is in itself a privilege given their Global recognition. I look forward to experiences that will enable me to learn about European culture and history. Furthermore, GLOCAL Master's Degree will enrich my knowledge in global markets that will enable me in making impact to Indonesia creative industry through entrepreneurship. I sincerely hope the admission committee finds my profile well suited for this life-changing opportunity.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,610 1954  
Dec 4, 2018   #2
Vania, your essay is extremely choppy to read. It needs to be edited for continuity, transition, and chronological significance. It is hard to keep track of your statements because you are not really working at presenting the required elements in the manner indicated by the prompt requirements. In fact, you fail to address 2 specific required discussions in your essay. The missing references include:

1. How your previous studies relate to specific courses offered in the program over 2 years;

2. How your professional activities connect with your interest in the GLOCAL courses offered with a specific focus on your personal reasons for seeking higher education. These reasons need to be indicated on a personal and professional basis.

Overall, the essay needs to address the areas I indicated above. It should also be edited for content to make it shorted but more informative.
OP vania 6 / 12 2  
Dec 18, 2018   #3
dear Mary, Thank you for your straightforward inputs which is very helpful.

Here I tried to rewrite the essay. I hope to receive more advice/ inputs from you.

GLOCAL-Erasmus Master Program
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,610 1954  
Dec 19, 2018   #4
Vania, this is an improved version of your first essay. However, it is too wordy and does not directly discuss the required elements. I mean, you do discuss the requirements, but it takes you too long to get to the point. You over wordiness brings the essay paragraphs to the point of boredom. The reviewer does not have the time to sort through all of your statements in order to find your actual reference in the paragraph. Consider reviewing the content of each paragraph and combine or compress the information wherever and whenever possible. You do not need to be highly descriptive, this is not a creative writing essay. You need to be informative and direct to the point. Every paragraph needs to state the topic for the paragraph in the first sentence, then the next sentences should quickly wrap up that discussion. This is what you have to so that you can hold the attention of the reviewer and you will be sure that he will finish reading your essay. At this point, you are not making any impression on the reviewer at all. Why don't you try to whittle this down to 5 paragraphs as follows:

1. Introduce your motivation for GLOCAL studies
2. Connect the 2 year GLOCAL courses to your undergraduate course ( your strengths as a candidate)
3. Inform the reviewer about your local training or conferences you attended (not conducted) that helped with your continuing education as relevant to the GLOCAL requirements. (additional strengths as a candidate)

4. Your future career plans in relation to your potential GLOCAL training.
5. Reiterate your motivation for completing this course as the closing statement.

Yes, the essay can be completed accurately and informatively over 5 paragraphs. You just need to learn to write in a more focused manner. Hopefully the outline I provided you with can help you achieve that.
OP vania 6 / 12 2  
Dec 20, 2018   #5
Dear Marry, thank you for your further inputs.

Here I copied a new revised essay. Could you help me in finding new improvements or new inputs for the essay?
Thank you.
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,610 1954  
Dec 20, 2018   #6
Vania, remove any reference to uncertainty in this essay. In paragraph 3, you say that "I think I am a good candidate..." If you only think you are a good candidate, why should the reviewer even give you a chance to compete for this scholarship? Either you know you are a good candidate or you are not. If you are not sure you are qualified, then why apply at all? That is a defeatist attitude. Show confidence in your education, work experience, and a belief that you can compete for this scholarship. Say "I am the perfect candidate" or "I am the best candidate", or any reference of the sort. You need to use reference phrases that indicate a strength of character and belief in oneself. You want to convince the reviewer that no one else can compete with your credentials, not that you just think you have competitive credentials.

Try to bring up the discussion about your undergraduate course to the top of the essay, you can present it immediately after your motivation or use your undergraduate studies to indicate a connection with your motivation. You are leaving that reference for too far into the essay when that should be at the top or at least part of the top 3 paragraphs of this essay.

Overall, this is another improved version that still needs a few refinements. It should be ready soon enough.

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