@Holt Please can you help review my personal statement for application for Global Market Local Creativities.
I am yet to submit it. your honest feedback would be helpful sir.
Thank you.
personal statement
Growing up as a teenager in Nigeria, a country faced with sluggish Economic development, my career aspiration has always been to be a key factor in the realization of Sustainable Development Goals while mainstreaming and make a contribution to the improvement of Globalization in Africa and the World at Large.
I am applying for the Global Markets, Local Creativities - Global Markets and Development pathway after searching for a Master's degree which amalgamates my education of Economics, and experience of Livelihood Development, Business and Project Management having worked with Non-Governmental organizations before and after graduation in Developmental and Humanitarian scope such as Livelihood and economic inclusion for refugees as well provision of Care and Support for Vulnerable children and women. My interest is particularly spurred by the multidisciplinary phases of this coursework as it provides a holistic approach to deal with contemporary issues pertaining to Economic Development, Entrepreneurship, Innovation, and how they are affected by Globalization.
Nigerian's 70% population is classified as Youth and it is home to over 2.7 million Internally Displaces persons(IDP) and refugees, there is a pressing need to work towards their education and employment. One of the prime challenges Nigeria faces is access to cheaper technology putting pressure on the local industry to compete internationally and insecurity within the country from illegal terrorist groups which repels investors and thus, accentuates unemployment in the country, contrastingly, Globalization has led to outsourcing of jobs to Nigeria. The creative industry or the "Orange economy" is Globally the 4th largest employer with 144 million workers and has an economic output of $4.3 trillion, Nigeria, producing a high number of graduates(About 240 thousand yearly with 10% in the field of Information Technology) should take policy decisions geared towards investing and improving infrastructural development to create an advantageous environment for trade investments and advance technological frameworks so that both large scale and Small medium Enterprises can compete in the global market.
During my undergraduate, I learned how Globalization affects individual economies, my final year research project " Impact of Globalization on Human Capital Development: A Case Study of Nigeria" evaluated the impact of globalization on human development in developing countries. The multiple regression model was used for estimation, which includes many economic and demographic variables. The focused independent variables were the trade openness and foreign direct investment (FDI), which are used as a proxy for globalization. Other explanatory variables were GDP growth, birth rate, death rate, and dependency ratio (% of working-age population). In my courses of International Economics and Macroeconomics, I applied the Malthusian "Theory of Population" in Nigeria perspective to understand the effects of population growth and how it can be detrimental to Nigerian's economy if not effectively managed. The courses discussing the impact of a Globalized Economy and Development Economics complement my undergraduate in providing me with the knowledge and tools to understand and address economic implications of Globalization.
I joined the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugee(UNHCR) through partnership from an Indigenous NGO: Mediatrix Development Foundation in January,2020 as a Project Finance Officer, where my work focused on the capacity development of selected refugees and Host Communities' SMEs and also provision of Vocational training and business starter packs on key livelihood areas to foster economic inclusion for refugees and ensure they live a dignified life. I have also worked with other USAID funded projects with Organizations such as Positive Development Foundation, Nigeria, Centre for Clinical Care & research in Nigeria(CCCRN) to develop business plans and provide continuous technical and functional support required to sustain Youth led start-ups, leading to increased employability and entrepreneurial development.
My proudest professional achievement is setting up a Skills training centre with Mediatrix Development Foundation for the Refugees in Ogoja, Cross River state. To setup the centre, working in a team of 3 persons we were able to apply for the US Julia Taft Refugee grant and leveraged on our projects partnerships with UNHCR and procured 77 industry standard stitching machines free of cost, Barbing Clippers and power generator to remedy to constant power cuts.
Furthermore, for the past 3 years (2020-2022), working in a team I have applied and won grant funding from the United states Julia TAFT refugee grant and have utilized the grant by:
-Providing Educational Support to 100 Vulnerable refugee and host community children of Cross river state Nigeria as well as provision of PPEs and sanitation materials. Providing the children with fees waiver to enable their return to school.
-Providing Vocational Skills training and Start-up materials for over 200 Beneficiaries within Akamkpa and Bakassi Local Government of Cross River state, Nigeria for Refugees and IDPs.
My work and the project I have been involved in contributes to the UN - Sustainable Development Goals 2030. I have worked on Projects like - UNHCR Livelihood and Economic Inclusion Intervention for Cameroonian Refugees in Ogoja Cross River State and Kwande LGA Benue State June 2020-2022 to improve self-reliance through livelihood Intervention and Education - Entrepreneurship/Business Training, Agricultural Development Programmes. Also, in 2020 I worked as Finance Officer Implementing for the UNWOMEN and UNFPA Spotlight Initiative - Eliminating Violence Against Women and girls in Calabar and Obanliku Local Government Area of Cross River State.
My dissertation would discuss how a developing country can benefit by investing in Social Entrepreneurs. The discussion would also discuss the financial as well as the socio-cultural impact of the Entrepreneurial activity. The potential for Social Entrepreneurship in Nigeria is immense. Nigeria ranks 14th on the Global giving index and in comparison, 61st on the Global Entrepreneurship and Development Index. The yearly donation to charities amounts to over $20 billion according to the Minister of State for Budget and National Planning, even if a fraction of that amount can be diverted towards Social Entrepreneurship the effects could reverberate long-term changes in curbing poverty and unemployment. My professional experience of working with SME's and courses discussing the impact of Creative Cities and Emerging sectors will provide guidance for my dissertation.
Upon completion of this program, it is my goal to utilize the knowledge and skills from GLOCAL programme to establish an NGO focus on enterprise development. It will provide workshops to help people attain their entrepreneurial goals, conduct innovation talks to inspire passionate people to do business, and assist creative minds and communities in establishing innovative enterprises to sustain local competitiveness and take part in the global value chain. I believe this would be a surge to efforts geared towards realising my vision of helping Nigeria promote a culture of creativity and innovation, utilizing its Nigerian talents and turning ideas into sustainable and globally competitive enterprises that showcase the best of the Nigerians as well as create jobs and shares wealth in the community.
The opportunity to study in a consortium of prestigious Universities in Europe is in itself a privilege given their Global recognition and academic merit. I look forward to an experience which will enable me to learn about European culture and history. I being a Nigerian will present a positive image of my country and act as an ambassador amongst a select few lucky enough to be an Erasmus+ scholar.
I sincerely hope the admission committee finds my profile well suited for this life-changing opportunity.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 You asked, I obliged. Here is the review.
The second paragraph would make for a more direct and engaging opening paragraph. It has the necessary hook to interest the reviewer.
The connection of the 3rd paragraph with your interest in the course is difficult to find. It does not seem to be there. Make the paragraph shorter and clearer in meaning.
The latter part of the presentation reads like an expanded resume instead of a proper career highlight mention. The reviewer could lose interest in reading further. Focus on 2 concise achievements instead. Highlights are more useful than activity and participation listings.
Try to create a shorter version of this essay. It is overpresenting the information which could lead to a disinterest to learn more about the applicant on the part of the reviewer.
