I'm not a great writer and any suggestions or changes are greatly appreciated. Why do you desire to attend college? (Short 3-4 Sentences)
College is something that I have always wanted to attend. My desire comes from my love of learning, which might sound cheesy, but I honestly have always wanted to expand my knowledge basis. My motivation also comes from my family. I have a great support system in place, with a mom, dad, and sister that have always helped me pursue my dreams. Finally, I want to be a doctor to understand why I lost my grandpa and maybe in the future make a difference in cancer research.
Maybe think about if you think college will help you get closer to your career? The point about your grandpa is a good start, I would maybe start with an anecdote about your grandfather and his death and how close you were with him and talk about how it changed your view in life and made you realize you could make a difference. you could talk about how you gained determination to go to school and realized you can actually make a difference. start with your grandpa and stem off of that because that is good material.
Get a great idea first, then start writing.
The ideas you express at first are not worth writing. It is not very impressive to want to expand your knowledge base. You should rewrite this so that it is all about your specific interests. You have to read a few books and articles that interest you. Read for one hour each day, and at the end of the week write the essay again. It will be completely different! But you have to find medical articles written by someone who is working in oncology.
As you enter college, you have to be willing to sit down with a medical journal article about the type of cancer your grandfather had and read all about it. Use index cards, and quiz yourself. Memorize info, and read the work of the physicians that have MOST RECENTLY made research findings. No one is better able to understand those articles than you. Start by reading the "abstracts," and when you get confused, google the words that you don't know. That is your homework for the week -- read one article each night. :-)
Google this: medical journal articles free