Hello.
I have a 3.3 GPA, in the top 25% of my class, will be graduating with Honors this summer, took the most challenging courses offered at my high school (currently in Calculus BC, Honors (AP) Chemistry, AP English Literature, etc.), and participated in soccer my senior year. I have a 1210 SAT and 28 ACT w/ an 8 on the writing section.
My essay is below. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
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In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
When I graduate from high school in the summer, I will have completed four years of tedious work in unrelenting, harsh courses that rarely forgave their students for any strain of laziness or incompetence. The courses that I will have completed left no room for the weak or apathetic. Indeed, a glance at my transcript could stop one's heart if they were not well-prepared. Instead of opting for easy, 'slacker' classes that any average student could have done well in, I chose challenging levels of coursework that I knew would prepare me for a proper education. I particularly excelled in the sciences; having faced the likes of college-level Biology (and Biology at the honors level before that), a notorious Physics class, and two courses of chemistry, I feel that I will be well-equipped for success at the University of Florida as a Biochemistry major with aspirations to enter the Junior Honors Medical Program. I think I'm a pretty well-rounded person -- the completion of AP Calculus BC and AP Literature and Composition by the end of the year speak for themselves. I already have a firm grip on the difficulty and pace at which college courses move, and I am quite apt at keeping up -- the numbers that can be seen elsewhere on my application, when weighed against this small sampling of the titanic load of sinister courses that I have subjected myself to, should prove to epitomize my accomplishments.
While my performance in the classroom was more than sufficient considering the rigor of the classes at hand, I knew that alone would not be enough to enter a prestigious university at which my dreams could be fulfilled without compromise. To broaden and enrich my degree of flexibility, I participated in soccer and the school newspaper, The Wooster Blade. Ensuring that my studies were thorough and complete, any free time besides them went to soccer. I never missed a single practice or game for the year that I was on the team. Joining the team was a very unique and fond experience for me, and the bonds that were built during the season will certainly remain much longer than the season itself. In a similar manner, my participation in the school newspaper exposed me to photography at a more professional level as well as how the media in our society operates, both excellent skills to have in today's ever-diversifying society.
It can thus be concluded that I will continue to expand my experiences and knowledge, even more so at the college level. In fact, I can think of no better place to spend the next four (and probably a lot more) years of my life -- a community where you can offer service in return for the service so kindly given to you is the best community there is. The University of Florida, being large, academically well-endowed, and packed with opportunities, will prove to be an extraordinarily ideal environment to do so.
(493 words)
Sinister courses? Tedious?
Sounds like you're great at pushing yourself, not so good at enjoying the ride. If I were on the committee reading this, I would have doubts about your sincerity in learning, and may suppose you do it for reasons other than the pleasure learning brings.
College is a wonderful place for expanding your mind. I think they'd prefer to know that you're excited about the possibilities.
