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Oct 16, 2019   #1
Hello guys! I applied for the major "Teaching Korean as a foreign language" to 3 major universities from South Korea.Can you give me a piece of advice? What do you think? What should I change or what do you think I should add? Thank you and have a nice day!

PERSONAL STATEMENT for the Global Korea Scholarship program

Foreign languages have represented an important subject for me, ever since I was a child, these enabling me to discover and understand different cultures and ways of thinking. I have always found the impact foreign languages have on the personal development of an individual very fascinating, also carrying great importance in understanding peoples and cultures. Therefore, the Korean language has gotten my attention remarkably fast. I believe that a language represents a key factor in understanding a culture and this is the reason why I would like to promote the Korean culture in Romania through language.

Ever since I was a child, I was influenced by foreign languages, especially English, in my personal development, and this is how I started to develop a passion for learning foreign languages and for studying foreign literature. In 2011, I have discovered the fascinating culture of South Korea. However, what attracted me most was its language, for it was different from any other languages I have studied until then and it has a unique musicality when spoken. In 2012, I started studying the Korean language on my own. This study has represented, and still does, a journey that never seems to come to an end, because during this process I always discover new things which help me understand the Korean culture and society better. Being extremely fascinated by this language, I began to promote it in Brasov, first doing so at the Multicultural Day event, in 2014, but also presenting it in schools. In 2016, I decided to take this journey further and I applied to study at the Faculty of Letters, BabeČ™-Bolyai University, where I started studying Korean-Chinese Language and Literature. At this very moment, I am in my senior year and I would like to pursue this path I have started.

I wish to apply for the Global Korea Scholarship program, because I would like to expand my knowledge, to discover the Korean culture thoroughly and to promote this language in my country as well, with the help of culture and literature. South Korea is very well known for its highly developed educational system and for its remarkable achievements in education. The GKS Scholarship would represent an immeasurable opportunity for me to expand my knowledge, to really experience this culture, to understand Korean society and to be able to communicate with native speakers. Lastly, but not least, I believe that direct contact with the language, society, culture and the country itself represents the only way of entirely understanding the true wealth of South Korea. These are the main reasons for which I wish to apply for the GKS Scholarship and expand my horizon, my knowledge of this language and culture.

I am extremely passionate about foreign languages and literature in general. I enjoy taking part in different competitions and scientific conferences because by the help of these I am able to practice everything I already know, but I can also learn new things. In 2018, I won the third place in the "Third Annual International Korean Speech Contest" hosted by the Department of Korean Language and Literature of the Faculty of Letters, BabeČ™-Bolyai University. Moreover, I am very interested in Korean art, especially paintings and dance. Since 2014 I represent the Korean Traditional Dance Group called Nabi. Through this group, I promoted not only Korean traditional dances but also Korea's customs and features to Romanian people.

ng864 4 / 6 3  
Oct 17, 2019   #2
these enabling me to discover
Should be "these enabledme"

... as well, with
I don't think you need a comma here.

The rest of your personal statement is really well written and structured. I hope my suggestions helped.
Maria - / 1,100 389  
Oct 19, 2019   #3
Hello! I'll give you feedback on this essay. Hopefully, it will somehow help you as you are applying.

Firstly, the first paragraph needs to be trimmed down a little bit more. The excessive language can be off-putting, especially if you're working with such huge clusters of words. I truly suggest trying to stick with the bare minimum when writing these types of essays. For one, you do not really need all the fancier words, taking into consideration that the goal of the essay is to give your personal take on why you deserve to be part of the program.

Furthermore, the second paragraph can also be bettered through minimizing the rhetorical parts of the text. Please bear in mind that you are writing this for the purpose of showcasing your innate skills. Rather than mentioning how certain values reflect to you, I suggest focusing more on the details themselves of your experiences.

The concluding paragraph should be inclusive of the entirety of the essay. Avoid trying to insert new information in that last bit. As the goal in this part is to cap everything you've written, you will be better off with just compartmentalizing everything and giving an in-depth perspective on the topic.

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