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GKS-U 2022 Personal letter - applying to this program to get a chance to learn Korean

lemonadelemon 1 / 1  
Aug 11, 2021   #1
Hello, I will apply for a scholarship next month, yet I am still not finishing my essay (Personal Letter and Study plan). Please take a good look at my essay, and hopefully, you are willing to help me make my essay better. Thank you~ <3

Personal Letter and Study plan

Hello, my name is Nike Puspitasari. I am a 20 years old employee from Indonesia. I am applying to this program to get a chance to learn Korean in its country. Not only to learn the language but to learn more than what I can achieve by myself. Such as lifestyle, culture, and something unseen-able by reading articles, googling, or watching shows only. To change all the negative Korean stereotypes from Indonesian people who think Korean is only about K-pop, K-dramas, or labeling Korean as "un-human beauty standard." Which makes some people became "Korean-phobic." I want to learn more profound all the knowledge which will I take advantage of to change the Indonesian mindset about Korean so in the future, Korea and Indonesia could have a better relationship by becoming a part of the Korean Embassy for Indonesia and making a program to educate Indonesian about Korea furthermore.

Being born as the youngest child in my family make me got label as a spoiled child. At the same time, I am growing up in a family where my father was barely involved in providing what I need as a child was something I have to face since I was in Junior High. Get a part-time job as a tutor for minors 2 hours/day to survive my school tuition from paycheck to paycheck for finished my school as a student. I am grateful that I finish my school journey well. That is why I want to participate in GKS-U, so I could once again pursue my dream to be an educated woman that can impact my surrounding with my knowledge-just like my mom always taught me, to show all women that there are no boundaries that could stop us from reaching our dreams as long as we believe and try our best. Because she is not educated well, she won't me be like her. She is hoping that I could do better in life and could impact other women and other people in my life. To be a great person that can influence my surrounding with my knowledge.

In my 2nd year in Senior High school made a club called "Rohani Kristen" at school to provide a container for all Christian students in my school. My school is a public school. Nevertheless, it is a pity that Christian students do not provide a proper education to visit our spiritual education. The lack of proper education made me and my friends decide to take the initiative to make a decent Christian community in the school. Nevertheless, it is a pity the school refused and refused to grant permission for our club to stand.

Moreover, it allows us to get a reduction in grades. However, the lack of supplies and permission given to the school did not stop my friends and me from fighting for our rights as students in need of a Rohani education. I contacted the church's relatives and asked for help to provide facilities like places, musical instruments, and proper support that we did not get from school. Moreover, as our community went on without school permission, we kept fighting for permission and set an example that there are many positive impacts we can give to the school environment through the community. Since there are no formal religious subjects in school, we must ask each church for a grade.

Moreover, because no proper education makes Christian disciples feel inferior to feeling alone. When we made the Christian Rohani easier for us as students gained extra-curricular religious value, Christian students could feel more confident because they had a community that existed for us and supported a more active school life by dating to meetings every Friday to worship together.

Part of a Red Cross club from 2016-2019 at my senior High school, one of the founders and leader of the Christian community called Rohani Kristen at my school at 2018-2019, from 2019 - Present I actively participate as a part of organization position Leader in Church Community. Be a Participant in 2015 and Mentor in 2017 in Girl's Talk Camp, which aims to help young girls find their identity and worth (spiritual and mind). Participate in and winning a Debate Competition in 2018 and winning second place. Two years experience as a part-timer private tutor when I am in high school for Primary School Students at SKY Learning Center
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,976 4812  
Aug 12, 2021   #2
Since the applicant is already employed full-time, there is a great chance of this application being rejected since the G K S - U scholarship is for graduating or fresh high school graduates. The essay presentation is difficult to read, not being properly structured in English and all. The writer does not have any impressive or noteworthy academic accomplishments that would relate to an academic motivation. There is no reference to a course choice either. Basically, every reason exists for this application to be disqualified in the assessment round. The main point, academic relevance and motivation, is missing from the discussion. Desire to learn a language and a culture is not considered an academic or career ambition, no matter how the writer believes it is meant to improve bilateral relations.

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