Scholarship essay granting 5th semester scholarhsip

Write about why you should deserve to have your scholarship renewed for a 5th semester. Include GPA, number of credits to graduate, etc. Good Luck!

I need help with lengthening what I have put together. Thank you in Advance!
Scholarship essay prewriting:

-In College, my GPA has been a 4.0 for the past 3 semesters here at butler
-This scholarship will help me achieve one of my short term goals: graduating from Butler Community College.

-I need an additional semester (3 classes) at butler to complete an Associate's degree in Psychology.
-I plan to transfer to a 4 year college and pursue a degree in the life sciences area.
-After receiving my bachelor's degree, I plan to continue my education for a 2 year physician's assistant master's degree program.

In the past 4 semesters here at Butler, I have learned so much about myself and others. I have gone from playing the flute/piccolo for the past 10 years, to trying something completely new, vocal music. If you would have told me two years ago that I would be a member of Butler Ladies, I would have told you that you were crazy. One of the things that I wanted to change for myself in college was to branch out and try new things. When I decided to switch to vocal music, it was a hard decision to choose. On one hand it would have been easy to just stick with what I had been doing for the past decade of my life; however, I knew that this was a once in a lifetime chance to do something that I have never done before. After being a part of the vocal music family for the past 3 semesters (2 on scholarship) I feel like I have grown as a person. Performing on stage has definitely helped me grow in my confidence.

Hi, cda2013. Am I correct that your ultimate goal is psychology and life science? If so, you really need to focus more attention on these areas - right now, much of the essay is about your musical interests. I think you can mention your music, but I would de-emphasize it. Remember, you need to show them why you deserve to have your scholarship renewed, not how you're good at music. Here are some suggestions and questions to help you re-focus your essay:

1. Highlight your good grades. You've done very well, and students like you (who study, work hard, make good grades) are the ones who are deserving of scholarship money. Expand on this. Talk about your commitment to education.

2. Why do you want to go into psychology/the life sciences? What kind of contribution can you make to society or the school if you are granted the money to continue your studies? Are you interested in teaching? Do you want to help people with their psychological problems? Do you want to pursue a career that will help you advance science and improve people's health? These would all be very good to mention.

3. Talk about your character. Here is where you can touch on your music pursuits. For example, you could discuss how you are courageous, willing to try new things, and unwilling to people tell you you "can't do it" (as shown by your jump from playing an instrument to singing). You could also talk about how you're comfortable with being in front of an audience, something that could benefit you if you ultimately envision a teaching career.

I hope that has helped!