Hello, I'm from Indonesia
I worried if my essay isn't have a good English structure, so, I need some help to check my essay.
I'm writing this essay for one of the scholarship requirements. The theme of this essay is "The Greatest Success in My Life"
Here it is:
In my opinion, 'success' is a word that describes a phase when a person has successfully achieved the goals of his life. As Napoleon Hill revealed in his book The Law of Success, that "The most successful men and women on earth have had to correct certain weak spots in their personalities before they began to succeed". This suggests that people should be able to overcome their limitations to achieve their dreams that would change their life. However, there is no instant way to make it happens, all of which requires hard struggle with the maximum effort. The biggest success in my life is, when I could transform from someone who had low self-esteem personality, become someone who is easier to socializing and dare to speak in public.
Since elementary school, I was known as a child who loved to study. I had always been the number one ranking in class. But it did not make me be a child who was easy to socialize with other people. I did not have many friends at school. I once ostracized by friends at school, because I was considered as a "teacher's favorite-son". But if school exams would arrive, they would be suddenly approached me. Maybe for some people, it was the usual problems of children. But it was enough to affect my psychological condition.I became personally reticent, and also, difficult to socialize.
In junior high school, I could slowly become a person who was easy to socialize. I learned to have a friend. But I still did not have the courage to dare to speak in public. Then, a bad thing happened when I was in vocational high school. My family's economic condition was not good at that time. My father had lost his job. I felt sad when all the family's burden should be borne by my mother. I felt so depressed in this phase. My academic grades dropped dramatically. I almost gave up, I thought that may be better to get work than to go to school. As the result, I did not have many friends, maybe, they stayed away from me because of my strange attitude
Before the graduation exams, I realized that I had to change. These conditions made me thought that I must be a someone who could success in life. I believe that by being someone who dared to take on higher education, someday I can improve the fate of my family. I was trying to emerge from the downturn, returning to study hard and venturing to register national college entrance (SNMPTN). I did a variety ways to learn on my own, with accessed some websites and learned from books about SNMPTN. Finally in the end of my vocational high school's time, I took the first ranked in class and passed the college entrance to Universitas Padjadjaran and became an awardee of Bidikmisi scholarship. I felt very grateful. This miracle was increased my confidence to be someone who was more daring in life. And, this was the beginning of a great change in my life.
In 2014, I took a chance to register Presenter competition which held by Bandung TV. Evidently, I was on the top 20 list of participants who qualify to be a Presenter. I broadcasted Bandung Hits program for four months. Be a TV presenter was one thing that I never imagined in my life. I learned to express myself and learned to be more confident to speak in public.
During college time, I kept trying to explore my potential by actively took charge in various student organizations and campus events. I really enjoyed my college time because I could become a new person. A person who became easily socialize with the new environment, had leadership skills, and of course, became more open-minded.
Praise the Lord with all of the above activities, I could graduate in three years and eight months in the study program of Library Science, with the highest honor. I consider all the things that happened in the past, can be a reflection for me to moving forward in life. I feel 'success' when I can get out of the limitations to increase my potential.
Learning from the past and improving the quality of myself is one of my life goals. There are still many other life goals that I want to accomplish in my life, one of them is to continue my education to the master degree, and get the scholarship. Because the 'success' is a journey which includes various life goals to be achieved.
I worried if my essay isn't have a good English structure, so, I need some help to check my essay.
I'm writing this essay for one of the scholarship requirements. The theme of this essay is "The Greatest Success in My Life"
Here it is:
In my opinion, 'success' is a word that describes a phase when a person has successfully achieved the goals of his life. As Napoleon Hill revealed in his book The Law of Success, that "The most successful men and women on earth have had to correct certain weak spots in their personalities before they began to succeed". This suggests that people should be able to overcome their limitations to achieve their dreams that would change their life. However, there is no instant way to make it happens, all of which requires hard struggle with the maximum effort. The biggest success in my life is, when I could transform from someone who had low self-esteem personality, become someone who is easier to socializing and dare to speak in public.
Since elementary school, I was known as a child who loved to study. I had always been the number one ranking in class. But it did not make me be a child who was easy to socialize with other people. I did not have many friends at school. I once ostracized by friends at school, because I was considered as a "teacher's favorite-son". But if school exams would arrive, they would be suddenly approached me. Maybe for some people, it was the usual problems of children. But it was enough to affect my psychological condition.I became personally reticent, and also, difficult to socialize.
In junior high school, I could slowly become a person who was easy to socialize. I learned to have a friend. But I still did not have the courage to dare to speak in public. Then, a bad thing happened when I was in vocational high school. My family's economic condition was not good at that time. My father had lost his job. I felt sad when all the family's burden should be borne by my mother. I felt so depressed in this phase. My academic grades dropped dramatically. I almost gave up, I thought that may be better to get work than to go to school. As the result, I did not have many friends, maybe, they stayed away from me because of my strange attitude
Before the graduation exams, I realized that I had to change. These conditions made me thought that I must be a someone who could success in life. I believe that by being someone who dared to take on higher education, someday I can improve the fate of my family. I was trying to emerge from the downturn, returning to study hard and venturing to register national college entrance (SNMPTN). I did a variety ways to learn on my own, with accessed some websites and learned from books about SNMPTN. Finally in the end of my vocational high school's time, I took the first ranked in class and passed the college entrance to Universitas Padjadjaran and became an awardee of Bidikmisi scholarship. I felt very grateful. This miracle was increased my confidence to be someone who was more daring in life. And, this was the beginning of a great change in my life.
In 2014, I took a chance to register Presenter competition which held by Bandung TV. Evidently, I was on the top 20 list of participants who qualify to be a Presenter. I broadcasted Bandung Hits program for four months. Be a TV presenter was one thing that I never imagined in my life. I learned to express myself and learned to be more confident to speak in public.
During college time, I kept trying to explore my potential by actively took charge in various student organizations and campus events. I really enjoyed my college time because I could become a new person. A person who became easily socialize with the new environment, had leadership skills, and of course, became more open-minded.
Praise the Lord with all of the above activities, I could graduate in three years and eight months in the study program of Library Science, with the highest honor. I consider all the things that happened in the past, can be a reflection for me to moving forward in life. I feel 'success' when I can get out of the limitations to increase my potential.
Learning from the past and improving the quality of myself is one of my life goals. There are still many other life goals that I want to accomplish in my life, one of them is to continue my education to the master degree, and get the scholarship. Because the 'success' is a journey which includes various life goals to be achieved.
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