Immigration has a cost----Questbridge Essay

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.(500 Words)
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America is the land of opportunity. For centuries, immigrants have been coming to America chasing their dreams. Many immigrants successfully achieve these too, but what is the cost? Immigrants, like me, have to face a multitude of difficulties and risks on their path to achieve the American Dream.

I was given a choice in third grade. I could choose to stay in India or I could come to America. I chose America. Little did I know the risks and struggles I would face. At that time, my biggest struggle was being away from India. It was all I knew. In America, I had no family, except for my parents and sister. The culture was vastly different. In addition, my life here was extremely unstable. Moving from place to place made life unpredictable and tumultuous. Despite these challenges, I loved America, and I began considering myself an American.

Now, after these two stages have been passed, I realize that I am at a disadvantage compared to my peers because I am not an American citizen. In college admissions, I am not only competing against American students, but also students from all over the world. Later, when I will apply for jobs, I will not only have to be qualified, but I will also have to find an employer willing to sponsor my visa.

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Coming in with a word count of 425, I believe that you have done very well with this essay in terms of keeping within the word limit. Content wise though, there is some work to be done before the essay can be considered acceptable. I have some suggestions that can help you achieve that listed below:


- Does it address the topic? Not sufficiently enough. Is it organized and well understood? Yes. The main problem with your essay is that you discussed all of the hardships and future problems that you will be having without fully addressing any solutions that you achieved personally. You talk too much about so many topics that they all remain under developed in the discussion.

So here is a piece of advice, choose one obstacle that you had to overcome when you came to America and then center your essay around how you overcame that obstacle. That will be the achievement that the essay is asking you to discuss. You mentioned at least 2 obstacles that are of interest to the reader, pick the one that you think is the strongest and develop it.

Whatever happens, do not discuss your future problems. That has no bearing on your present or past situation in the country. The interest of the essay is on your past experiences or current experience that you are faced with. Do not be afraid to go into great detail about how you overcame the problem. It is necessary in order to deliver the required lesson learned on your part for the essay.

America is the land of opportunity. For centuries, immigrants have been coming to America chasing their dreams. Many immigrants successfully achieve these too, but what is the cost? Immigrants, like me, have to face a multitude of difficulties and risks on their path to achieve the American Dream.

I was given a choice in third grade. I could choose to stay in India or I could come to America. I was given the same choice again in middle school. I chose America both times. Little did I know the risks and struggles I would face. At that time, my biggest struggle was being away from India. It was all I knew. In America, I had no family, except for my parents and sister. The culture was vastly different. In addition, my life here was extremely unstable. Despite these challenges, I loved America, and I began considering myself an American.

When I entered high school, these challenges had been nullified. However, I realized that I was at a disadvantage compared to my peers because I am not an American citizen. In college admissions, I am not only competing against American students, but also students from all over the world. Despite being educated in America, I am considered as a foreigner based only on the lack of a piece of paper giving citizenship. In addition, very few colleges offer merit or need based aid for internationals, which is an absolute requirement for me. Many colleges where I fit perfectly are places where I will not even apply because of the lack of scholarships. However, to compensate for these disadvantages, I have worked harder than every one of my peers. Despite being at a 'disadvantage', I have achieved and will continue to achieve my goals with hard work.

I might be at a disadvantage, but these disadvantages have yielded great results. I have achieved a world-class education in American public schooling. I have grown more than I ever would have without the challenges. I feel that my disadvantages are, in fact, a blessing in disguise. Because I know I am at a relative disadvantage, I work much harder than most of my competitors. I know that I might not be successful at the first try, so I have learned to stay determined and motivated and persevere. Due to the constant migration, I have become mentally strong. I am not fazed by a failure, instead I find my mistakes, learn from them, and try again.

I have also realized that my challenges are breezy compared to many. I consider myself fortunate that I have the strength, courage and opportunity to face my challenges head-on and am determined to do so in the future. Right now, I am on the path to college and face a great life ahead of me. As Malcolm X once said, "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."

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Better? Or should I take out the second paragraph entirely? Please reply urgently as the essay must be submitted today.

you might want to write a brief intro about what made you take such big decision, choosing American over India