"to be independent, be happy, and give back" -about my struggles and goals in life

In 500 words or less, please describe your personal and educational goals. What challenges have you faced that have helped shape those goals? How have you dealt with those challenges?

My personal goal in life is to be successful, independent, and happy. I want to give back to my parents and community. My educational goal in life is to either have a career as a pharmacist or physician's assistant.

Challenges that I have faced that helped shape these goals are my parents. They are rather motivation than challenge because they make me want to strive harder than they had and attend college. Also seeing how my sister has to work two jobs right now to save up to move out on her own shows the career choice you make affects you and I don't want to work two jobs when I can get a better education and get one stable job. Another is my parent's low income hindered their outside activities like taking family vacations, instead they are working overtime.

These challenges were hard to deal with because while kids my age were going on vacations, I was at home either reading or watching television. I barely got to see my parents. I had a hard time bonding with them because they neglected me and I had to grow up alone at a small age. For instance, my parents left me and my little brother home alone while they were away at work. My dad worked at a restaurant and would not be home till 11pm. My mom worked a second job and would not be home till 10pm. I commend them for trying to provide for us but the emotional attentiveness was not there and it affected my relationships with friends and guys. I would never get to close to a person to the point where I can tell him or her everything. Also I try not to show my emotions to much because it shows a sign of weakness from the neglect of my parents.

Now that I am older, I realize that my parents had their reasons and that I have to accept the fact that we have a different culture from people where it is work hard to provide family then fun with the family. I come to realize that I am being selfish now that I am older and that they work less to not try and build relationship with them. So now whenever my mom wants to go to the mall of grocery store I go with her to help her and keep her company.

My personal goal in life is to be successful, independent, and happy. I want to give back to my parents and community. My educational goal in life is to either have a career as a pharmacist or physician's assistant.

I believe for this essay you should pick one career and stick with it to make it easier.

Challenges that I have faced that helped shape these goals are my parents. They are rather motivation than challenge because they make me want to strive harder than what they had and attend college. Also seeing how my sister has to work two jobs right now to save up to move outlive on her own.

Her struggling efforts to live on her own teaches me how the career choice I make will affect the way I will live one day. I know that going to college while getting a better education and persuing my goals will ensure me a stable job. Opportunities that my parents had to miss out on like family vacations or simple offers of having a day off, they couldn't take because of my family financial obligations to bills and what we need.

on her own shows the career choice you make affects you and I don't want to work two jobs when I can get a better education and get one stable job. Another is my parent's low income hindered their outside activities like taking family vacations, instead they are working overtime.

These challenges were hard to deal with because while kids my age were going on vacations, I was at home either reading or watching television. I barely got to see my parents. I had a hard time bonding with them because they neglected methey were to occupied or busy for me.

andI had to grow up alone at a small age.and I felt neglected at a young age.

For instance, my parents left me and my little brother home alone while they were away at work. My dad worked at a restaurant and would not be home till 11pm. My mom worked a second job and would not be home till 10pm. IAlthough I commend them for trying to provide for us but<<OUT ,the emotional attentiveness was not there and it affected my relationships with friends and guys. I would never get to close to a person to the point where I can tell him or her everything. Also I try not to show my emotions to much because it shows a sign of weakness from the neglect of my parents.regular absense of my parents.

Now that I am older, I realize that my parents had their reasons and that I have to accept the fact that we have a different cultures from people where it is work hard to provide family then fun with the family. I come to realize that I am being selfish now that I am older and that they work less to not try and build relationship with them. So now whenever my mom wants to go to the mall of grocery store I go with her to help her and keep her company.My family worked hard to persue the American Dream, however in the process they forgot to emotionally support me. Although I don't try to fault them for the many selfish qualities I have now, my parents do try to recover from them days they couldn't give me the full parental support. And even though it seems a littlle late for their help now, I still appreciate their concern.

This is a very good and personal essay. However, for this particular essay you should relate your experience more with you goal in the closing and also give more details on both your academic goals. Also when you are about to talk about something, dont give it a introductory phrase meaning:

If the prompt ask you what are the challenges you face, don't start off with...The challenges I face.
Try to make your essay as cohesive as possible. Make it flow! Also try not to write like you speak and watch for run on sentences when you are writing.

Other than that I love the way you didn't hold back on your story and the way you are showing the scholarship foundation that you are applying who you are. Good Luck!