Your first essay is an excellent example of your work ethic and sense of teamwork. It is highly admirable that you were able to translate your commitment to your orchestra and craft within the allotted word count. You even have 7 letters to spare :-) I am wondering though, if this activity could somehow be related to the major you are applying to? The more closely you can align your answers to the major you hope to be accepted in, the better it would be for you :-)
"What causes people to be born without certain organs?", "Why does cancer develop?" and "Why do some live longer than others?" are just some of the questions that intrigue me and make me wonder about the secrets that are kept within our body..
- The reason I would like you to skip directly to the questions you are asking is because the questions are the concepts that you find yourself questioning. After you present your questions, you can then discuss how these questions led you to your love of biology and a desire to learn more about the human body and all living things. By doing so, you will be able to present a solid idea as to how your past interests led you to this chosen major.