I intended to be Lecturer but my ambition is to conduct researches - KGSP program application essay

Please some one correct my mistakes....

-Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc
-Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the KGSP program
-Your motivations for applying for this program
-Reason for study in Korea

contributing to welfare of humanity in an efficient way

I am Maria Aslam. I come from a lower middle class Pakistani family. From the very beginning of my life I was interested to be Lecturer. My father is a simple farmer but his dream was not simple at all. Being a farmer he wishes to be a father of an educated Daughter. My parents taught me how to be successfull in life in a very difficult environment. That is the reason why they enrolled me with a High school in the city after I completed my Secondary school despite of the severe financial constraints they had to bear. I worked hard to carry on my studies and support myself from that young age. When I passed H.S.C (Higher school certificate) with good results then my dream grew higher.

Now I am student of BS Zoology at The Women University Multan. I have expected that my degree will complete in May,2017. During my BS, I have been worked in a private academy for 2 years. But, Now I am paying my fill attention on my study.

Nowadays, South Korea is becoming extremely popular all over the world. It already created its position at the upper level in the world in the sector of Life Science and research. My teacher had complete her M.Phill and PhD from South Korea. I impressed with his behaviour and overall their culture. So wish to study in Korea.

At last, I will conclude with my future plans. I have the ambition to conduct research, later, in the field of Zoology and Life Sciences. I'd like to contribute to welfare of humanity in an efficient way. A Bachelor Degree, then a Master Degree, then a PhD: this is how I envision my academic progress. Perhaps in the future I might have myself a place in a well know university conducting research and obtaining some degree of influence over actual challenges -that is, becoming a problem solver myself in the near future.

I come from aPakistani family of lower middle class background, From the very beginning of my life a young age...
My father is a simple farmer but ...
Being a farmer- he wishes to be a father ...
... be successful in life in an very difficult unfavorable environment.
... they enrolled me withinto a High school (...) Secondary school,despite of the severeheavyfinancial constraints ...

I worked hard to carry on continue my studies and support myself from that young age.
... with good results then ,my dream grew higherbigger

Now I am astudent of BS Zoology ...
I have expected that my degree will and my studies will be complete by May,2017. During my BS, I have been worked in a private academy for 2 years. But, Now I am paying my fill attention on my study. ---.> I'm making plans for my further studies.

It already created its position at the upper level in the world South Korea has ...
I impressed with his behaviour and their overall culture. So ,Iwish to study in Korea too

... to conduct research, later, in the field ... Sciencesin future. I'd like to contribute to the welfare of humanity ...
Perhaps in the future I might have myselfI envision myself contributing in a well known university ,conducting research and obtaining some degree of influence over actual challengeshelping the society overcome its challenges -that is, becoming a problem solver myself in the near future.

@Jasmine855
Thank you so much..

Maria, other parts of the application form contain your name, so there is no need introducing yourself in your opening statement. The first prompt of your essay requires that you tell the reviewer how your parents' guide shaped the person you are today. How has their philosophy influenced your view of life? Tell the reviewer about your academic background and relate it to your hopes and wishes with respect to the person you want to become in the future.

Since you are applying for a master's program, you should limit your educational experience to the most recent qualification which, in this case, is your BSc. Talk about the course you studied and how your tutors predisposed you to the professional plan you look forward to. Create a separate paragraph where you have to discuss your professional (work) experience. Mention the company, organization, or firm that employed you and summarize your role. At this juncture, you should tell the reviewer how your professional experience inspired you to go for a higher qualification. State in clear terms what motivates you to apply to the KGSP program. Finally, in another separate paragraph, tell the reviewer why you chose to study in Korea; what motivates you; your expectations as regards your program and the person you wish to become.

If you write your essay with these suggestions in mind, you will surely come up with a better essay. Right now, you essay is not good for a starter. I advise that you look at other related essays that have been reviewed in this forum and then use them as templates to draft yours but do not copy their write-up.

Maria, please note that this is a letter of self introduction. Therefore, if you wish to start your introduction by giving your full name then there is nothing wrong with that. It is a common part of introducing oneself to a stranger, as you are doing with yourself to the reviewer of your application. There are no set rules regarding how to introduce yourself, so if this is the way you want to do it, then do it this way.

Unfortunately you did not provide a convincing motivation for your desire to study in Korea. I attribute that to the fact that you have only a limited discussion regarding your academic and professional background. Since you did not really represent your profession, you were not able to create a Korean connection between your desire for higher study in Korea (motivation). The rest of your reasons are weak, but could have been strengthened by an accurate representation of the relationship between your profession and the masters degree you wish to study.

By the way, don't include a discussion of your future plans in this essay. There is a specific section in the Statement of Purpose known as the Post Study Plans essay where you will have a full page to discuss the details of this plan. It is not a necessary element of the self introduction letter.

Hi Maria,

If this will be your self introduction, try to maximize the one page limit. Try to elaborate your motivations and reasons for study in Korea. Aside from the Korea being popular all over the world. What are the other motivations that made you apply for the program. Maybe you have something to achieve about or something related to Korea.

And for reasons, try to add some information why you chose Korea as for your Master's.

Hope this help.

Thanks.