The KGSP is one such opportunity that I don't wish to regret for not trying - PERSONAL STATEMENT

KOREAN GOVERNMENT SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM - PERSONAL STATEMENT

set of instructions provided for the personal statement
1. Motivations with which you apply for the program
2. your education and work experience in relation to the KGSP
3. Reason for Studying in Korea.
4. any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research

My name is Jerry Sabore. I was born and raised in India. My father joined the military services at a very young age due to lack of resources for his education and he always emphasized the importance of education and my mother being a school teacher have always encouraged me to explore the opportunities in life. My father's occupation helped me to study in different parts of the country and I was able to experience different cultures and learned 5 language during my course of stay.

I grew up watching my cousin build his firm from scratch after he graduated from Mechanical Engineering, assuming it was only about automobiles he enlightened me with his vision and shared his knowledge on how anything manufactured is a part of it.

He used to take me for trips to a lot of manufacturers from whom he used to collect the raw materials and then put them all together to make a new product. I was too young to understand what it was but spending my childhood in the enterprise, getting exposed to lathe machines, drilling machines, and tools allowed me to spend my time with the labors, drilling holes, fusing and welding the plastics which nurtured my interest towards the field of mechanical and engineering.

I was a not among the top students during my school days but I always tried hard and was able to be among the top students in a much challenging and competitive college environment. During my undergraduate studies I understood the vast possibilities of my field and how the advancement in technologies have improved over the years through the workshops on CATIA, CFX design software on my even semesters. Also being a part of team to visit the TVS manufacturing unit helped me relate with my childhood of how the assembling of different parts formed the end product.

I had a great learning experience with my project team. I spend most of my time in the machine labs using equipments trying to manufacture the parts precisely. It gave me a basic understanding of electronics and the use of computer numerical control as well. Starting from paper design to a completely automated machine was a great task as figuring out the problems that affected the prototype was quite challenging and it helped in building a confidence in me to resolve it.

It was not until when the Head of the Department of Mechanical Engineering had the opportunity to visit Seoul, South Korea for a workshop on Machine learning and design thinking sponsored by SAP labs and discovering Korea's development in mechanical fields intrigued in me a desire to explore the option of studying in Korea. I was exposed to the Korean culture only through the social media discovering the Korean universities in the global ranking was an addition, considering the companies like HYUNDAI, LG and numerous amount of mechanical manufacturing units and the pace at which the field of science and technology is growing is quite remarkable.

The most important ideology that I found was it promotes and supports all forms of art with equity, this sense of freedom and liberty is an environment which I desire for. I was able to teach myself how to write and read in Korean and I believe I will be able to become a fluent speaker eventually. I am already in love with the Korean food like kimchi and gimbap which I was able to experience in the Korean restaurants of my country.

I do not wish to miss out any opportunity which enhances me as a person and a professional. The KGSP is one such opportunity that I don't wish to regret for not trying. This will help me to connect with an international community also providing me an opportunity to experience the rich culture and the challenge to be a part of the highly competitive education system. I believe challenges are what makes a person to outdo themselves.

hello..

1. "experience with my project team" what was that project? i think you should explain

2. 6th paragraph, "it was not.....studying in korea" this part is meaningless for me. you should rephrase that taking more care about punctuation.

3. 7th paragraph, i think "liberty" and "freedom" means the same thing so..

4. 4th paragraph "During my undergraduate studies" what is your field? what degree do you hold?

Jerry, your personal statement is not aligned with the prompt requirements in some instances. So it would be better if you revise your essay in order to create more relevant content. This is still a letter of self introduction so you need to deliver specific information instead of simple overviews, inferences, and summarized information so that you can fully utilize this written interview to your benefit.

Take for instance your education. The main concern in this instance is to highlight your academic achievements and also, portray your abilities in research that have a direct relation to your graduate studies. Awards and recognition, aside from internships if note should be mentioned in this part. Internships of note means that you do not merely participate in the program, but that you also managed to do something noticeable during your stint with the company that helped to increase your knowledge and skills or allowed the company to consider you for either a longer internship, assigning you to an advanced division, or offering you a job upon your graduation. In this program of international stand-out applicants, you need to make sure that you offer your most impressive and recognizable skills upfront so that the reviewer can consider your credentials at a higher level. Being definite about your academic and internship accomplishments is key to your consideration.

You are underutilizing your previous educational experience in Korea in this essay. Your reasons for studying there at this point in time should find its basis in your time as a workshop participant. Tell the reviewer what you learned and how this helped you during your practice of your profession in your home country. From that jump-off point, explain why you chose a specific university and course and how you hope it can positively affect your future. Those are the strongest motivations and reasons you can present for your interest in a Korean education.

As for the other aspects that can help the reviewer evaluate your potential as a graduate student, you should discuss the most pivotal point of your college education (if your profession is not research based). That is, discuss your thesis project (in relation to your chosen major), the difficulties you faced in the research and how you managed to overcome those obstacles. Within your professional field, explain how you handle situations under time pressure. That will help to prove that you can handle the demanding requirements of the KGSP program in terms of class participation and research.

It would be better, in my opinion, if you do not use this current essay and instead write a new one. You may use certain obvious aspects of this current essay to help facilitate the development of your new essay but you should use this current version in totality because it does not accurately represent the required information for the personal statement.