Leadership is crucial to success, and it's not about position. Chevening "leadership" essay

Kindly provide some feedback on my Leadership essay. Thanks!

Chevening

Scholarship - Leadership and Influence Essay

Leadership is crucial to success. Either self-leadership in the case of an individual, corporate leadership in the case of an organisation, success and positive outcomes are largely influenced by right leadership. However, leadership is not about position. As John Quincy Adams rightly said, "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader".

I have always approached things from a leadership point of view, with a concerted effort for self-improvement and excellence. I believe developing capacity in leading yourself is the necessary foundation for leading others. However, this capacity must be consciously developed, through personal development and subjecting yourself to the guidance of leaders who have gone before you.

I have been privileged to serve in a number of leadership capacities. During my undergraduate days, I served two tenures (two academic sessions), first as the Assistant General Secretary and then the Assistant Head of one of my University service groups, carrying out my responsibilities to the best of my ability with success stories to match.

While undergoing my mandatory year of service to my country, Nigeria, I was appointed the leader of my Community Development Service (CDS) group by my peers and I served in this capacity for about six months until the end of my service year. Under my leadership, we raised funds and carried out a relief program at a general hospital in the state, during which we provided some basic amenities and edibles to patients.

As a volunteer at HOPE Foundation, an organisation that is aimed at transforming the leadership mentality of the Nigerian teenager and youth, I have also served in different capacities within the organisation; first, as the project lead for the 2016 C.I.T.Y Summer Leadership camp at one of the four locations in which the camp took place that year.

I currently serve as the coordinator of the C.I.T.Y Training arm of the organisation, where I am tasked with planning and implementing training programs in secondary schools across Nigeria. As of this time of writing, we have trained over 400 students this year with more training sessions already scheduled across the country.

Some of the hallmarks of excellent leadership include a commitment to discipline, responsibility and people improvement and I am certain I have consistently exhibited these traits in every capacity I have been privileged to serve in.

This essay just talks about several of your de facto positions of leadership, not about how you actually developed your leadership skills and influenced people. I suggest you pick 2 or 3 specific examples and focus on expanding those, like say the mandatory service; how did you *take* the lead? What was your specific contribution in leading the group, show don't tell? How did you influence people to get specific results?

Babatunde, one way of improving your essay presentation is by presenting the quote from John Quincy Adams as a stand alone sentence at the start of the essay. That helps to introduce the type of leadership and influencing style that you will be discussing in the essay. The reason that I zeroed in on the quote to open your essay with is simple, it directly relates to and highlights your role as a member of the HOPE Foundation.

You mentioned specifically in the related paragraph that you have served as project lead for the 2016 Summer Leadership Camp. Now, while I would prefer a more recent leadership and influencing role for you to present in this essay, this will have to do as it appears you do not have any leadership capacity participation within the 2017-2018 time frame in a professional capacity, which would have been more impressive, recent, and relevant to the discussion.

Discuss the leadership role that you undertook by mentioning the specific location of the camp, what kind of work you had to do with the members of the organization and the participants, zeroing in on any job / duty conflicts that you had to resolve in the performance of your leadership duties. The influencing style should tie in with your people management skills in that instance as well. Influencing the youth participants could be a secondary presentation of your leadership and influencing style if necessary. Try to establish the reason why your leadership of this particular project translates into your becoming a future leader and influencer in your country. The potential for the explanation is there, you just need to put it into words.

Right now, your essay is just a listing of your participations. There are no clear references to leadership and influencing situations and you badly need to do that in this essay. Don't use the CDS experience because from the looks of that reference, it is more of a leadership in relation to networking reference so you can use that topic for your networking essay instead.