Learning Korean language is necessary for taking a bachelor's degree in this country

Hello I'm Mohja and this is my study plan essay
The instructions are:
Study plans to improve foreign languages (Korean,English,etc) required for taking a bachelor's degree course BEFORE & AFTER you come to Korea.

improving the English by teaching it

Psychology says learning a new language has a positive effect on brain's function.
I have e been studying korean language for two years, Learning how to read and write in Korean was quite useful which helped me pass my Korean Language trainig course I had attended last May with flying colours. I scored a B with a total score of 84 out of 100.

I still go online looking for videos on YouTube that teach me on how to learn Korean language at an easy and quick way. I also downloaded some Korean training applications from play store it has been a great help because I have really improved in my hearing and writing skills.

When arriving In South Korea I will need to speak the language to get certain things, order some food and so on, But most importantly I will be taking my bachelor's degree course in Korean.

Therefor I will actively participate in the Korean language training which Niied has paid for I will make friends with Nationals from south Korea who will also help me learn the language and Korean culture. I am hoping by the end of the korean language training course I will be able to speak korean fluently and understand the language to the maximum therefore It will be much easier for me to communicate and enjoy the experience and to have almost full understanding of my classes that are taught in Korean.

I am sure if I diligently followed all this plans I will get a level 5 in my TOPIK exam at the end of the year.

For the English language training,English has been my second language for the past 6 years since English is a part of the Sudanese educational system's curriculum, But the school curriculum is quite basic and limited, Therefor I self taught my self by reading English literature and motivational books, watching English tv shows & movies without subtitles , participating and attending in many activities like The British council's discussion club ,University of Khartoum's debate competitions and Tedx-Sudan.

I will be improving my English language by teaching English as a part time job if its allowed by the university and Niied.

Mohja, if you already scored so well during your Korean test in the learning center, and you have the certificate to prove it, then I don't see why you are wasting your time discussing how you will improve your Korean language skills when you should be focusing on taking the TOPIK test instead. By at least implying that you are hoping to take the qualifying test before you go to Korea, you add to the importance of the continued education that you are implementing for yourself regarding the Korean language.It must be clear that you are making preparations this early to take the TOPIK test. For example, you can indicate that you have joined Korean chat rooms online so you can practice your written Korean and, whenever possible, you try to video chat with other Koreans in order to polish your spoken Hangul. This will indicate that your Korean level, upon arriving in Korea for the language training part will at least be above the basic Korean level, which is what you are implying by your exam score, even though it is not TOPIK related yet. You need to make a reference to how you will continue to improve your Korean language training after your graduation as well. That is a requirement of the essay instructions so try to refer to that in at least 3 sentences if you can. Try to develop your English preparation paragraph in a somewhat similar level to your Korean preparation paragraphs. That way you bring a balance to the discussion. Right now, there is an imbalance in the discussion that has made your preparations for English language training suffer in comparison to the Hangul preparations. It is obvious that the prompt requires you to balance the discussion so balance the references that you make to the English based activities that you have. Don't limit it to one paragraph. Try to discuss it in 2 paragraphs. One for written English and one for spoken English. That way you give equal importance to your English language learning as well.

Hello Mohja..

In my opinion, delete the first paragraph regarding to psychology. Just straight to the point that you have learned Korean Language for two years. Elaborate the preparation that you have done so that you could achieve good score on your test. I don't see you show the reference to increase your ability in speaking Korean after you finish your study in Korea. Try to mention your plan that relate with Korean things, for example culture exchange or cooperation between Korea and your country, and how your study and living in Korea will help you to realize the plan.

You also should develop the answer for English language as well as Korean language. The balance answer will make your application noticed by the reviewer because you deliver the traits well. When you revise it, you better write in different paragraph that contained each trait instead of write it in a lot paragraph that has no focus topic. It will be good-looking and reading by the reviewer.