Please tell us why you chose to study in Scotland. What were your reasons for choosing this particular institution and subject? Please also mention any relevant work experience
I have faith in imagining things, pursuing them with all my grit and whittling them into certainty, an
instance in my life is robotics. My life has always fixated on robotics; go to a great university, Acquire
immense knowledge of robotics and build them. It feels very right that I've committed myself to robotics
despite my many interests, Robotics combines nearly all of them, it is capable to connect every field from
ecology to music to astronomy, and this makes robotics even awe-inspiring to me.
...
Your first sentence should be two sentences. Also, be careful with capitalization and punctuation. You capitalize a few things in the middle of the sentence and you use a colon instead of a comma in a few places.
Also, your word order is a little off. Be careful with this because it makes reading your essay hard to follow. I have given some examples of corrections below.
would help me in contributingto the development of mankind which is like giving back what I have
grown because of them
In this state am elated to embark toScotland not
only because of Scottish universityies leading in the world rankings, but also the country whichis always showing willingness to support researchers.
Your opening and closing paragraphs are good. I can see you worked hard on those, but the wording in your body needs work still. It is difficult to follow. please use the above examples to help you re word the body.
Hope this helped
Hello, My edits and suggestions are below,
I have faith in imagining things, pursuing them with all my grit and whittling them into certainty, an
instance in my life is robotics. My life has always (been) fixated on robotics, to go to a great university, and to A cquire
immense knowledge of robotics and build them. It feels very right that I've( I have) committed myself to robotics
despite my many interests, R obotics combines nearly all of them( please replace "them" with another descriptive word), it is capable to connect every field from ecology to music to astronomy, and this makes robotics even awe-inspiring to me. However T hese are not ( the)only the motives for me to decide on artificial intelligence I t will aid me to develop advanced robots which would help me in contributing the development of mankind which is like giving back what I have grown because of them( <run-on, please divide this sentence).
It is very exciting as(I) imagining ( imagine) the robots I could build,(it) is envisaging the environment where I will learn
to build them. At this point I would like to quote the words "If I have seen further it is by standing on the
shoulders of giants" by Sir Isaac-Newton .< floating period) Which will be exactly suited the specific motive for opting the
prestigious "University of ABC", Pioneer in the Artificial-Intelligence having cutting edge research
laboratory; K nown for the outstanding reputation for excellence in world-leading research, innovation and
teaching. < Run on, please shorten this sentence)I foresee as the best place for me to hone my robotics skills better .
While considering The University, which is going be a new transformation in (my)career advancement, the
location of the university is an important factor to ruminate. In this state(I ) am elated to embark (to) Scotland.
Not only because of Scottish university (is) leading in the world rankings, but (it is)also the country which that always
showing willingness is willing to support researchers. This may be is reflected (in the) change in of the world-renowned
inventions. from Examples are, Cloning to MRI to touch bionics; and in addition to the reputation which it has been earned from the international peoples as the "B est place to be".
As I previously expressed, about my love in the realistic and heroic possibilities of robotics ( confusing sentence), I am
fascinated about the realism in robotics, it really defines my passion of serving mankind via robotics ( you mentioned robotics once). my
under-graduation "Mechanical-Engineering" provided solid platform to visualize my dream into reality,
by developing( a fourteen)robot prototype for various applications. Leading daily published a pictorial titled (< Confusing how you introduce this sentence, please consider revising) "Robovin Brammakkal (means Creator of Robots)" emphasizing my achievements. Also, I am
maintaining a blog nijanthanvasudevan.blogspot.in where I post my research online to share and
aid any budding inventors. The innovative and conceptual design skills which I learned helped me to land
a Design Engineer job in Research & development sector of corporate such as AAA, BBB
energy solutions (India) Pvt ltd & CCC (India) Pvt ltd. for more than
2.5years( Please type out all acronyms) .
These years of professional experience helped me to get a whole new perspective towards
designing, conceptual and prototype developments. In addition to that, but it enhanced my teamwork skills,
perseverance & and vision which I believe it would make a perfect combination to pursue my dreams in
University of ABC.
Hi! I see you have a great vocabulary and you are very talented! I am almost sure you will be going to Scotland! I have added my edits above. Please work on run-ons, and wordiness in your sentences. This can take away from the value of your essay. Simpler sentences may work better for you, you have an advanced vocabulary, so advanced words in smaller sentences can help your writing, and deliver your message. Please use capitals at the beginning of your sentences, you have random capitals( highlighted red). Watch out for small things like floating periods. Spell out all acronyms, and spell out all numbers. For example, 2.5 should be two and a half. Great start and good luck!
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