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Life time experience with a college life; Summer School Scholarship



samiull 1 / 8  
Jan 12, 2013   #1
HELLO GUYS!
I need help with my summer school scholarship application. I need to write an answer of 150 words for the following question. Please help me out. I am weak in grammar also tell me what is lacking in my answer. Any help will be appreciated. Thanks in ADVANCE!!

How do you think a SCHOLARSHIP will help you ACADEMICALLY?

This scholarship will enable me to attend this prestigious summer program. As a high school student I have a particular interest in Maths and Physics and I want to pursue a degree in engineering later on. This scholarship will provide me with an opportunity to study these subjects at a higher level. I will be studying under highly accomplished professors with vast experience in their respective fields. I will try to assimilate as much knowledge as I can from them. I will also get a chance to use the universities highly equipped science labs for experimental purposes. The program will introduce me to new and exciting topics, beyond that of high school, instead of archaic and boring ones at school. This will give me a foretaste of the topics covered in college.

This all will prepare me well for my next year at school and furthermore for my college. Overall this will also provide me with a lifetime experience of a college life.

Didgeridoo - / 289  
Jan 12, 2013   #2
This is the answer you gave in one sentence: "I want this scholarship because these courses will help me get into a top college, succeed in college, and become a successful engineer." How many people do you think will write something like that?

I don't know how important this essay is in getting you accepted to their program, but I think the summer school people want to know that you are so excited and passionate about studying there, they would feel bad if they had to say "No" to you.
gugo - / 2  
Jan 12, 2013   #3
First of all your grammar is weak.Second of all you are telling them that you will learn maths and physics.That is not good.you can learn maths and physics every where,you have to tell them what kind of special thing they have which you cant get anywhere else.how ever you can learn maths and physics even from a book,you don't need to go to summer school all the way just to learn maths and physics.also you are talking about science labs,you are not going to summer school to do experiments in their science labs,you are going to participate in the special events they have.also you are saying that your school topics are boring.NO don't give them the image that you don't like your school,instead tell them that you are the best in your school and like participating and working for your school.

"Overall this will also provide me with a lifetime experience of a college life". This is the only sentence in your essay i will appreciate.

You have to explain to them why going to that summer school is going to change your life..tell them why is it so important for you and what can you learn there that you cant learn anywhere else.

Don't worry just improve it and Good luck.
OP samiull 1 / 8  
Jan 13, 2013   #4
Thank you very much for your feedback! I will now write it again and get it checked.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 13, 2013   #5
This scholarship will provide me with an opportunity to study these subjects at a higher level.

This scholarship will help advance my knowledge in these fields.

I wish if you improved its presentation to have it more effective. Tell about your desire for furthering studies in these fields with a greater punch. Also if you have good credentials such as excellent grades and other academic achievements, mention about them briefly to convince them that you deserve a helping hand to pursue studies. Also mention about your financial standing and constraints if you have any, but very tactfully. : )
OP samiull 1 / 8  
Jan 13, 2013   #6
Should I write about extra curricular activities in the program that can help me academically??
OP samiull 1 / 8  
Jan 13, 2013   #7
There is another question in the application.

''What do you think you will be able contribute to your ORA summer programme?''

Any ideas on this please. What should I write? confused...
OP samiull 1 / 8  
Jan 14, 2013   #8
I have written my answer again. Please comment on it and give any suggestions.

HOW DO YOU THINK A SCHOLARSHIP WILL HELP YOU ACADEMICALLY?

I have always wanted to attend this amazing summer program and this scholarship will provide me this opportunity. I am a science student and I really love science. I am among the top students in my class and I have got exceptional grades in O'levels. This scholarship will enable me to further advance my knowledge in this field. I am most interested in engineering preparation program as it will provide me with insight on different engineering fields and help me select one when I get into college. The curriculum taught in this program will give me a foretaste of the topics covered in college. Apart from this, I will improve my spoken English skills as I will get a chance to interact with students from all over the world. Moreover, I will be required to follow the schedule on my own which will create a sense of responsibility in me and make me well organized. Overall this program will provide me with a lifetime experience of a college life.
gugo - / 2  
Jan 14, 2013   #9
Don't waste your words writing about sense of responsibility just write that 'i will learn to be independent'.Tell them you have a extra ordinary dream of becoming blah blah and how this school will help you follow your dream.

As i told you have to come up with something that only this school can give you and no other school can give you.So that they get to know how much important it is for you to attend this summer school.

And the last thing you have to be more specific,don't just write that it will give me science knowledge,be more specific.Also you can write that 'i have participated in many events in school and outside the school and i am known as a talented guy, now i want to work at a greater level and prove myself as a talented one'.

Lastly write something special about this summer school that is the best about them and no other school has that thing.
Good luck
OP samiull 1 / 8  
Jan 14, 2013   #10
Thank you very much. Maybe you can help out on the other one too :D
Didgeridoo - / 289  
Jan 14, 2013   #11
I have always wanted to attend this amazing summer program and this scholarship will provide me this opportunity. I am a science student and I really love science. I am among the top students in my class and I have got exceptional grades in O'levels(This does not necessarily make you unique.) . This scholarship will enable me to further advance my knowledge in this field. I am most interested in engineering preparation program as it will provide me with insight on different engineering fields and help me select one when I get into college. The curriculum taught in this program will give me a foretaste of the topics covered in college. Apart from this, I will improve my spoken English skills as I will get a chance to interact with students from all over the world. Moreover, I will be required to follow the schedule on my own which will create a sense of responsibility in me and make me well organized. Overall this program will provide me with a lifetime experience of a college life.

New one-sentence summary: "I want to go to this summer program because I love science, I'll be prepared for college, and I'll improve my English skills."

It's better, but I think you're going about conveying excitement in the wrong way.

Example of what I mean:

School, soccer practice, homework, cello lesson, hours-long Trivial Pursuit battle with my little sister. I fall into bed exhausted every night, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am excited to attend your summer program because instead of watching television all day during the summer, I will be watching French films in the European cinema class and talking to teachers and students about the best technique for drawing a face.

It's not perfect, and it's just a snapshot, but you want to tell readers about you: what you like to do and why you would rather go to this summer program than go swimming or play video games or something.

----------------------------------

As for your second question, think about personal traits, skills, or hobbies. Are you creative, so you'll be able to think of fresh ideas? Do you talk a lot, so you can turn a group of strangers into friends easily? Are you good at any [sports] (sports is just an example that you can replace with anything), and what have you learned from it that will help others? You say you aren't very good at English, so maybe you have an unusual cultural background and a different perspective that can contribute.
OP samiull 1 / 8  
Jan 15, 2013   #12
Thanks a lot. I am currently writing it. My papers are also going on that is why I am finding it increasingly difficult to complete my statement before Friday. There is another question.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE ACHIEVED BY 2030?

Word limit of 150. Any ideas on how I should approach this question and how to start it. And what to write to make sure that I am considered for scholarship. I would be very thankful.
Didgeridoo - / 289  
Jan 15, 2013   #13
What do you want to achieve by 2030? Only you can truly say. But make sure your answer is as specific as possible. Don't automatically jump to "I want to help people," because I guarantee that will be the main answer. You can work that in there, but get very specific with what you actually want to accomplish, and the type of impact you want to make on society, or how you want to grow as a person...
OP samiull 1 / 8  
Jan 16, 2013   #14
Thanks a lot Didgeridoo!!!


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