"For the longest time I dreamed"- GKS- U Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Prompt

Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Educational background
- Significant experiences you have had; persons or events that have had a significant influence on you
- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities, or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, skills you have acquired, etc

For the longest time, I have always dreamed of becoming a pediatric doctor. Science fascinated me ever since my junior school days and so I decided to dig deeper and find some answers to my numerous questions by joining the science department during my senior secondary school years. Yes, I have a passion for science, but I know deep down being a doctor is not my path. I graduated high school very confused and seeing all my friends pursuing their career goals just made me depressed for a while. I started learning how to code just to kill time and the day I ran my first line of code 'Hello World' on the browser; I knew that I had found the answer to my lifelong question. When I code I feel a kind of tingle, one I have never felt before for any reason, the ability to solve problems, to distill my knowledge and skill into executable forms, and to watch it operate outside my head is powerful. Technology can affect lives at a level and scale that has never been realized in the history of mankind. The idea that something I create can impact someone across the world now, or in the future is what drives my passion for tech and programming. The reality is that not many students like me can find out what they are passionate about before it is too late but I want to help as many people to find out their passions with technology. I want to start a program that provides an opportunity for young students like me to help discover their passions. My motivation is the young students all over the world that might never discover what their passions are.

During my secondary school years, I thrived in my academic performance graduating with a C.GPA of 4.76 out of 5.00. I would say I owe my achievement to my school for providing such a competitive and positive environment for me to develop and exceed my potential. I was an active member of the JETS club of my school, being a member of that club has allowed me to participate in numerous competitions ranging from mathematics to science competitions like Cowbell Mathematics Competition, National Mathematics Competition, Our Generation Foundation Competition, and Spak among many others. The experiences I have gained from being a part of that competitive world have helped me to develop stronger willpower, a resilient nature, and above all a persistent attitude. I have also recently participated in an intercultural exchange program that lasted for 4-weeks. The program was to help foster relationships between teens from all over the world and to learn a language of their choosing. Since I had just recently taken an interest in Korean culture, I saw the program as an opportunity to learn Korean firsthand from a native. During those four weeks, of the program, I got the chance to improve my Korean and learn about the history of Korea. The story of how the Korean people had to become slaves in their own country and how were forced to speak another man's language was very touching but it gave me an insight into the Korean culture and people and I realized how strong and determined Korea is. I want to be a part of such positivity and strength which is why I am interested in learning in a country like South Korea.

I learned about courage in the most painful way possible. I lost my mother a few months before my final school examination; an exam I have been preparing for my whole life. The courage to fight through the pain and focus on schoolwork did not come easy but I did not let my trauma stop me from passing my exams. What I have learned is that we can tailor our pain to something that positively benefits our lives; I turned my pain and trauma into courage. Courage to write my exams despite the difficulty I was facing, courage to pursue what I am passionate about despite the uncertainty that comes with it, and courage to apply for this scholarship even though I might not win. Being a student in my home country where the system is not favorable to supposed minority courses or majors like computer science makes it almost impossible for me to pursue a career in Tech. The learning process is very arduous, as students have to do virtually everything by themselves; this is because professors show no effort towards teaching the students. Another factor that restrains me from pursuing a career in the tech field in Nigeria is that most professors who teach the major in the university have little or no programming experience, which subjects students to learning only the theoretical aspects thereby limiting their expertise. These unfavorable factors influence my decisions on what career to pursue in my country. This is why studying abroad for such a course is my only option but since my parents barely have the financial capability to send me to a public university in my country; the thought of studying abroad can only be a dream for me.

since the applicant is not pursuing a pre-med course, it is irrelevant to be discussing that at the start of the essay. The first paragraph should establish a strong introduction to the candidate's interest in the U course being applied for. The fact that the student also did not have a proper educational goal when compared to his pells must also be avoided since it will make the reviewer think twice as to whether this applicant will be completing this course or not. The way the student portrays his academic character will be enough to limit his consideration potential in this case.

The way this draft is written leaves room for overall improvement and expansion in the next version. Truth be told, this scholarship is meant for (over) achievers and this applicant is short in this essay of portraying such qualifications. He might qualify if he can improve his credential presentation and examples. The student is motivated to learn in general, not necessarily in Korea. That is the problem with the essay. The motivation must be more Korea specific.

I think you should try to make the beginning of your essay as impactful as the last one. Maybe even try to get the last one to be the first one instead and then develop a new essay from there.

Hi Mowa, I think you should delete that part where you talk about becoming a pediatritian, that part has nothing to do with the scolarship, you should concentrate on making clear all your reasons for studying the degree you are applying for and even more importantly why it should be in Korea.