Media electronics should change their programmes (writing task 2)

In this globalization era, many kinds of media offer either news or entertainment to gain a lot of enthusiasm and to get the highest rate. To make it happen, the reporter pays a great attention to plenty of footballer, actrees and singer. Even though, their reports have not been affected for quality of human life. In my personal persfective, media should give something new for society such as accurate information, a good news or people live which can expend to have spirit of llive.

In 2016 survey data shows that, there are approximately 38 percent of Indonesian people do not taking care of with other people in society. For instance, some teenagers or adults spend much time to watch television that shows about actrees' lifes. So they are affected to their life like what they watch as buy some goods with spectacular prices although their parents much work hard to get money.

Some media should report ordinary people live for society such as charity shows or reality shows which is reporting ordinary people live, taking 'jika aku menjadi' television programme as example, that is one of the charity activities that shows on tv to aim for society how hard they spend their time with work hard to get money. So, from that reality show gives knowegde and symphaty for people to help each other.

To sum up, media as a good places to make people release that helping each other is a good for human life. However, channel of media should offer or persuade some people after watch their programme get many benefit.

Hi Ayu.
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To make it happen, the A reporter pays a great attention to plenty of footballerS, actreesES, and singerS. Even though, APART FROM THOSE ALL, their reports have not been affected for ON A quality of human life. In my personal persfective POINT OF VIEW, THE media should give (...) which can expend ENCOURAGE OTHERS to have THE SPIRIT OF LIFE spirit of llive.

In 2016 survey data shows that, [...] watch television that shows about actrees' lifes.
(Ayu, this paragraph was not constructed well. It is because you did not begin the paragraph with your statement or opinion. This is a formal writing so that you should explain your opinion systematically. In the first sentence, you should inform that the television has to change the program. Following that, you describe the reason why it has to be conducted. To support your reason, you have to give examples or a scientific fact. In the last, you can close with the consequent of your idea.)

shows or reality shows which is reporting REPORT THE ordinary people live, taking 'jika aku menjadi' (YOU SHOULD NOT PUT THE EXAMPLE OF INDONESIA. I SUGGEST YOU SHOW THE EXAMPLE OF THE HUGE COUNTRIES. IT WILL STREGHTEN YOUR OPINION) television programme as example, gives knowegde KNOWLEDGE and symphaty SYMPATHY for people

To sum up, THE media as a good places to make people
However, THE channel of THE media should offer (...) get many benefitS.

Note: You should reread your writing before you upload because you sometimes misspell some words. After that, you still need the time to learn systematic of the good paragraph.

I really believe that you will show the better progress if you wanna strive and practice again and again.
Keep spirit
Happy Writing.
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