What motivates you and write about a topic that reflects your values

Please I need help with checking to see if I have answered the prompts, if there are any grammatical mistakes and if there are any lines that does tally with whats being asked. I am constrained to 250 words for each essay. Thanks for your help.

Q: We want to hear what motivates you and what you are passionate about. Please write about a topic that is important to you, and reflects who you are/your values.

self presentation essay

My Answer:

As a child I often accompanied my father to his small meeting with the community members and spent hours watching him work and talk about community development issues.

This experience instilled in me the desire to take the initiative to understand the challenges affecting people and rural communities yet I understand that sustainable development in the world today is more complex and very political. This complexity requires more education, and

with that in mind, I am motivated to pursuing academic excellence to achieve greater height and utilize my knowledge and skills for the broader interest of the society and the community I live in.

As an advocate of social development, I want to touch on the topic "Participatory Rural Approach to Development" (PRA) thus involving all stakeholders within a rural locality in the development and implementation of development interventions or projects. Sustainable development education is an ideal vehicle for interdisciplinary learning and can be used to bring relevance, depth, challenge and breadth to learning. Sustainable development recognizes that the three pillars; the economy, society and the environment are interconnected.

Developing our children, young people, and women as global citizens through sustainable development education by actively involving them in every step, is a key context for learning within Curriculum for Excellence. Sustainability issues feature prominently in the experiences and outcomes and offer learners an opportunity to engage with complex ethical issues relating to climate change, social justice, interdependence, health and well-being and biodiversity.

@winday209
there are some grammatical mistakes:
1. As a child,
2. motivated to pursuing -> pursue
3. relevance, depth, challenge, and
4. the economy, society, and

Suggest to download the "Grammarly" application to check grammatical mistakes, it's free.

Pius, for starters, you cannot make reference to "As a child" as the time frame when you began accompanying your father to these community meetings. A child will not have any interest in community concerns nor have an ability to understand what topics were being discussed. Therefore, it would be best to say "As a teenager" or "I was 13 when I first attended a community meeting with my father." A teenager would be able to understand the concept of the meeting to a simple degree and also, manage to construct an opinion and possible solutions to the situation. Next, you need to explain why you were drawn into the meetings that you attended. What made you concerned for the community How did these exposures ignite your passion for "Participatory Rural Approach to Development"? Why is this important? What values did this concern and passion instill in you? There is no clear reference to the passion and character development part in the essay. You should work on developing that aspect of the presentation. Your essay strayed a bit in the middle and then again at the end. If you respond properly to the questions I posed, the essay should get back on track as a proper response essay.

@Holt and Macbz, thank you so much for this great feedback. It's helpful and i will incorporate the comments and suggestion given

@Holt, please i do have a couple essays that i will need your suggestions and feedback on. Kindly advise how to share these other ones as well. Thanks.

(You should start a new thread, but note you'll be suspended if you leave useless advice in other students' threads. Admin)