Hello
I'm applying to NTU, and I need to submit an essay along with my scholarship application. This is what I have written.
Please help me review if there's something that I can improve toward my essay, thanks!
Q: Describe, in less than 300 words, the values and beliefs you hold strongly to. Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions.
To me, perseverance is the belief I highly value in my life, and I also do everything with it. Firstly, I consider perseverance to be the key to success in many aspects of my life. Some goals need time and dedication to be achieved, while it may be toilsome and difficult during preparation. If it were not for perseverance, I wouldn't enjoy the sense of achievement after accomplishing the tasks. From studying hard for the tests to participating in competitions, etc., the processes are not easy at all. However, I implement the same attitude to insist on what I do, which not only enables me to maintain good grades at school but also to be outstanding in many competitions.
In addition, perseverance also turns my failures into a learning opportunity and makes me grow. Take my science project for example. I started it two years ago, and during my research, I did lots of experiments and came up with numerous ideas in my project. In the science fair first year, however, I got harsh criticism toward my project. Then from the comments, I realized that there were plenty of problems and deficiencies in my project and my expression way. I didn't quit because of the failure. Instead, I modified my experiments and improved the shortcomings. Ultimately, I got the first prize next year. That was not only an unforgettable memory but a practical skill that I learned during the process.
Conclude all I mentioned above, that's why I put emphasis on perseverance all the time. I hope that this attitude can help to mold me into a successful person future at NTU.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 You have to present 2 personal characteristics as reflected by one value and one belief system. This essay is all about introducing your character to the reviewer. He wants to know the kind of person that you are beyond the grades and other documents that you provided. Are you the kind of person who has a character that will fit in and enhance the student community? Think about 2 highlightable aspects of your personality and explain. 150 words each.
So you have decided to use perseverance as a refence to your belief system. That is great as it reflects on the type of student that you will become. What you have to explain next is what belief system you have that supports the value of perseverance. An example of a connect belief and value system would be:
I believe that the success of a student in life comes from perseverance. A student cannot succeed in his studies if he does not persevere and believe in his own learning abilities....
Such a connected example shows the reviewer 2 things:
- Your intent to succeed in your chosen major
- Your desire to use perseverance to your advantage as a student
By referring to 2 different aspects of your personality as a student, you will be able to provide information as to how well you fit the description of a perfect student at NTU. Of course you will not know what their idea of a perfect student is, but by at least providing 2 relevant discussion points, you increase the possibility that you will fall under at least 1 criteria based on what they look for in a student.
