Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width   Posts: 4


"the opportunity to obtain a secondary education" Center Foundation Scholarship



oregontrunk 2 / 3  
Feb 16, 2011   #1
Any comments/suggestions would be most appreciated, thank you very much for your time...

Please tell us in 500 words or less how being a high school student has impacted you up to this point.

As I sit in my AP Biology class, my teacher finishes instructing teaching us about the properties of water. To myself, I think, "Really, so that's why bodies of water don't completely freeze. That's why water freezes from the top to the bottom, rather than from the bottom to the top." My teacher had been talking about hydrogen bonding in water, as well as about Van der Waals interactions. The properties of water make it so that when it freezes, it is actually less dense then it is in the liquid state; many elements are denser in the solid state. For a while after learning this fact, I made many connections and brainstormed. I was able to understand why some creatures are able to survive deep down in the depths of the oceans where there are large ice layers on top.

Learning about the properties of water is just one of many revelations I have had as a high school student. In band, I have learned how all the major and minor keys fit together, and have a whole science of their own. At cross country practice, after a long run, my team mates and I have learned techniques to help our bodies recover, such as putting our legs in ice baths so that the micro-tears in our muscles heal faster with new blood flowing through our bodies.

High school has greatly impacted me up to this point. With seven classes peer day, it is like entering seven different worlds each and every day, studying them, and trying to decide if one prefers one over another. In one class I am in Graphic Arts, using a Heidelberg to create printed items with a typecast I made with a Ludlow. In the next class, Trigonometry, I am learning trigonometry identities, experiencing what it must have been like for the Romans to design the Colosseum. My high school education has been a great experience, giving me a broad understanding of some of the significant discoveries made up to date.

Having the opportunity to obtain a secondary education has been something I have taken for granted. Now though, I realize that not everyone throughout the world has the opportunity to obtain an education, nor as high of a quality one as I have had. Being a high school student has given me the building skills necessary to build a monument, a character that is willing to incorporate different ideas, and the ability to make contributions that will better our world.

Richardtun - / 1  
Feb 16, 2011   #2
When i step towards the high school student,i m totally hard to cope with the lectures and changing behaviours of my classmates.As we become teenage,our body structures and our thinking styles are so much alter.It is said that hormones in or body are gradually change and i m absolutely agree it.Some of my friends speak and behave like adults and their ideas and thoughts are based upon the knowledge they have gained in the past.And they want to free and don't rely on their parents so much.

On the one hand, they are hardworking and more competition with one another and they are more enthusiastic to build their goals.Each and everyone has their dreams .But on the other hand,some can reach towards the wrong side.As an adult,they want to test which are unfamaliar to be with them such as taking drugs and smoking and some crime.

Therefore to sum up,we have encountered many new experiences and problems in our high school age .Nevertheless,we can choose which are right or what are wrong .If we have these power,we can withstand the influence which are falling upon our student life.
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 25, 2011   #3
instructing teaching us

typo

High school has greatly impacted me up to this point.

I am very impressed with the essay up until this sentence. This sentence does not powerfully express the idea of the paragraph. the first sentence of a paragraph should (usually) express the main idea of the paragraph in an interesting way.

Wow, this really is a very impressive essay. The way to make it more impressive is to start reading some books written by specialists in your chosen field, and write a little about them. Also add a sentence to the end of the first paragraph, and make it a sentence that expresses the main idea of the essay as it relates to your specific career interest (even if you are not sure what your career will be, write in terms of one of your interests).

Let that last sentence of the first paragraph be a thesis statement that tells the main idea of the essay in a way that shows your seriousness about your carefully devised plan.

:-)
OP oregontrunk 2 / 3  
Feb 25, 2011   #4
Thanks, for all the feedback...I really appreciate it...:)


Home / Scholarship / "the opportunity to obtain a secondary education" Center Foundation Scholarship
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳