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Outline your immediate plans upon returning home and your longer term career goals

rneliaptrabell 1 / -  
Oct 10, 2015   #1
Hi everyone,

I'm applying for the Chevening scholarship this year and so far I've drafted this one *sigh* out of the four essays I need to write. Any comments, suggestions, and corrections (especially on grammar) will be highly appreciated. Many thanks!


Outline your immediate plans upon returning home and your longer term career goals, considering how these relate to UK priorities in your country.

Upon completion of postgraduate study, my immediate plan is to pass the United Nations Young Professionals Programme (UN YPP) examination in Public Information job family to contribute in increasing the number of young Indonesians serving as international civil servants in the UN system.

Indonesia, the world's fourth most populous country, remains under-represented at the UN. The latest personnel statistics from the UN System Chief Executive Boards for Coordination (UNSCEB) reveals that only 0.4 per cent (324) among 84,069 UN staff members as at 31 December 2013 were Indonesian nationals. Almost three quarters of them were serving in the General Service and related categories, the positions not responsible for taking decisions and passing recommendations.

By contrast, in the same time frame the UK had 2,455 of its nationals working for the UN, more than two thirds of whom were employed in the Professional and higher categories. This is ironic especially if we take into account the fact that the total population of the UK is almost four times less than Indonesia's.

Such under-representation definitely harms Indonesia's progress toward social and economic development. Data from the UN Asia-Pacific Regional Millennium Development Goals Report 2014/2015 indicates that Indonesia has failed to attain four out of the eight goals. If Indonesia is to achieve better success in implementing the ambitious 17 Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and 169 targets, the country has to boost its representation at the UN, ensuring that it has a loud enough voice to be heard. After all, who understand the cultural, social, and contextual intricacy of a nation better than its own statesmen?

Joining the UN will provide me the opportunity to work in an international setting alongside distinguished intellectuals of diverse backgrounds, equipping me with an indispensable understanding of the various perspectives and factors at play when rising to the global challenge. I will also be able to capture lessons learnt and best practices that can be transferred or adjusted to better address social and development issues facing communities across Indonesia.

Being aware that communication plays a vital role in the pursuit of good governance, in the long run I plan on becoming a Presidential Special Staff on Political Communication. For that, after five to seven years with the UN I will apply for a position at the Indonesia's Ministry of State Secretariat with a focus on providing technical and administrative assistance concerning communication with the press and media as well as drafting key documents for the President and Vice President.

I see myself devising communication strategies to influence opinion, attitude, and behaviour change among various stakeholders to support governance reform objectives and help shaping a better Indonesia, propelling the people and the country toward a common goal of dignity and prosperity for all.
Diqon 10 / 33 12  
Oct 10, 2015   #2
Hello, Cornelia.

some suggestions of me.

Joining the UN will provide me the opportunity to work = Joining the UN will provide the opportunity for me to work.

that can be transferred or adjusted to be better address social

I see myself devising communication strategies to influence opinionperception, attitude, and behaviour.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Oct 10, 2015   #3
- examination in Public Information job family to contribute

- ...under-represented atin the UN.

- members as atof 31 December 2013

- By contrastOn the contrary ,

- ...alongside distinguished intellectualsindividuals of diverse backgrounds,
- to equipequipping me with an indispensable...

- ForHaving said that,...

To seek office in the UN is quiet a challenging task and I commend you in taking a step, a very big one, to conquer this institution. Remember, it's not just the position or the title that you are working for the UN, it's the responsibility, the credibility and the dedication to serve for the greater good of the community.

I wish you the best of luck and we would love to know how it goes.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 11, 2015   #4
Cornelia, it is important that you bring the focus of your essay into your career path after you graduate and return home to Indonesia. While I understand that you plan on becoming a part of the United Nations Young Professionals Program (UN YPP), you aren't really telling me anything about how you plan to prepare for those tests. Where do you plan to begin your career? The UN YPP is the end game of your immediate career plans. The prompt is asking you to outline your plans. So you need to discuss how you plan to prepare for the test. Where do you plan to work prior to that? What preparations will you undertake in order to ensure that you will pass the test? All of that information is part of the required outline.

I am also of the opinion that the following passage does not respond to the prompt requirement and should be totally removed from the essay:

This does not offer a career plan outline on your part. You are merely referring to information that the reviewer will not view as a necessary part of your application. If it does not help you outline a career path, then it does not belong in the essay. Rather than presenting this information, why not tell us instead what you plan to do as a Member of the UN YPP should you be lucky enough to pass the test? That is part of your career path and sets a goal for your long term career.

The latter part of your essay, that talks of you joining the UN needs to be further developed. Where do you plan to take your career after joining the UN YPP? More importantly, how will those career goals relate to the UK priority projects in Indonesia? I really did not see any reference to the UK plans and projects in your essay. I am sure you are familiar with the projects indicated so you should be able to create a career path that aligns with the UK projects :-) Please try to accomplish that because it is a necessary requirement of the essay prompt.
tama 2 / 7 3  
Oct 24, 2015   #5
I think you need to be more specific and simple so that reader can keep track of what you are trying to say. So first focus on Short term goal and then long term goal. Be as specific as possible.
thedeepazure 2 / 5 1  
Oct 26, 2015   #6
Hi Cornelia,

Your essay looks good to me. However, while including such data can be what distinguishes you from others, I do believe that it's quite unnecessary. The essay prompts you to explain your immediate plan, and long term plan. Maybe you should focus on that and elaborate further why you want to join the UN YPP and Presidential Special Staff on Political Communication.

Good luck!

P.s: I am also applying for Chevening and I'd really appreciate your comments on my essay.

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