How your proposed study relates to... a need, development issues, chosen CSC theme (for Scholarship)

Commonwealth Shared Scholarship

Hello fam. Please help me review this:

According to United Nations report in 2017, the world population will be 9.8 billion by 2050 and Nigeria will become the third most populous country in the world with an estimated population of 398 million people. This drastic increase in population will bring about challenges of food security. If Nigeria remains a net-importer of food, there is bound to be an increase in food prices, and with our increasing rate of poverty, this will lead to high rate of hunger and malnutrition.

Nigeria, as part of its biotechnological revolution established National Biotechnology Development Agency (NABDA). One of the mandate of NABDA is to catalyze biotechnological methods and applications to achieve food security in Nigeria. Nigeria has also adopted National Biosafety Management Agency (NBMA) as an appropriate regulatory body. NBMA has recently allowed the environmental release of Nigeria's first GMO food crop, "The Pod Borer Resistant Cowpea". This new development will decrease the use of pesticide on the crop and it will also increase its yields by 20% thereby helping Nigeria to reduce its reliance on imports and achieve food security.

Biotechnology as a course is a fusion of life sciences. It relates to Science and Technology for Development in the sense that it entails the use of technologies that use biomaterials to develop useful products such as food and drugs for human use thereby solving the problems of hunger, malnutrition and diseases which lead to development.

Plant pathogens are one of the major factors that affect crop yield annually. Therefore, as part of my plan of study, my research project will focus on using biotechnology to improve crop production by controlling plant pathogens. Introducing and up-regulating pathogen resistance genes in plants will minimize pathogens attack thereby improving crop yield and achieving food security.

The audiences of my proposed study will be bio-scientists and other researchers who also wish to use the knowledge of biotechnology to bring positive development to their sector or communities.

After my graduation, I will apply to work as a researcher at NABDA, specifically their agricultural biotechnology department where I hope to perfect my practical and research skills and also assist them in their mission of promoting and deploying appropriate biotechnologies to increase productivity and enhance sustainable agriculture and food security. I also plan on organizing an outreach program to local communities on GMO education. With the recent release of our first GMO food crop, people are already exhibiting fear about the use of this crop. I believe that if the public is enlightened about this technology, it will ease their fear and encourage them to invest in it thereby boosting our agricultural sector and achieving food security. I aim to achieve all these within 5 years after graduation.

The impact of my work can be measured by communicating with NABDA, and also through my publications on international journals. I will also utilize any opportunity to collaborate with UK DFID in any of their projects that relates to biotechnology in Nigeria, in the future.

You have covered all of the required information in the essay. However, you need to develop certain discussion points such as how you expect the audience of the study to help promote your research for global use. You must also remove any sense of uncertainty in your essay presentation such as "I will apply to". Instead, be certain ; "I will work at..." or "I also plan" can be changed to "I will organize an..." Do not be general in reference to your 5 year plan. Outline it to show that you have a specific plan of action that must be completed during each year. Simply saying you will accomplish these in 5 years, without explaining how you plan to do it within this time frame defeats the achievements and time frame requirement of the prompt. You might also want to consider using social media as one of the methods by which the CSC can monitor the achievements of your programs through successful implementations of every phase.