Question about AAS Support Statement for Master of Business Administration

Scholarship experience in a future career

Hi my name is Oscar. I am currently preparing my support statement for Australia Awards Scholarship. Please kindly give me some insight into my essay and thanks in advance. For background, I plan to take Master of Business Administration and move to career in ridesharing / e-commerce startup as product manager. In the position I intend to involve and help more players in micro sectors.

Please:- a) give up to three practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connections you will gain from your scholarship. Possible tasks can be personal and/or professional; and

b) list any possible constraints you think may prevent you from achieving these tasks.*:

First, and most simply, I will continuously use the business, leadership, and managerial expertise from the MBA program to improve and better control the performance and efficiency of existing team at my wife's family restaurant. Moreover, I plan to replace traditional processes with Point of Sales and Warehousing apps and manage the adoption processes. I am expecting social issues in the execution as all staffs are coming from low education background. Here I will be specifically benefited from The Social Entrepreneurship project experience during this program

Secondly, I will work on sharpening the acquired skills in multiple work placements / internships (managerial position) during summer break. I intend to request this from network of business leaders and entrepreneurs provided by the program. Again I will help monitoring operations for these leaders, resolving problems, and advise on innovative improvements. One constraint could be position unavailability due to company budget. My plan is to propose no lower salary bound as the scholarship will already provide for living allowance anyway.

Finally, I will start supporting the micro sectors with technology transformation by applying for product manager position in either Gojek, Tokopedia, or Traveloka (locally owned). The position often has least requirement on previous experiences, while at the same time provide sufficient authority to launch own products or services. At this time, all skills from the program and experiences (including point one and two) will provide me with sufficient basics to launch services that involve more micro players like gardeners, plumbers, handymen, maids, and peddlers. I will be confident to oversee team of developers and analysts and working with other product managers for this. Recruitment process to these unicorns might be very tough, but MBA graduates from respectable universities have been highly valued, and I wish to leverage the leaders network again if applicable.

There appears to be a conflict of interest in your presentation. At the start, you make it appear that you work for your wife's family's business, but in the last plan, you indicate you will be applying for a job at specific companies. How can you implement the changes at the family restaurant, while being a full-time employee at one of the two companies you indicated? It appears difficult for you to be at two places at once, implementing two different career paths. Perhaps you should clarify the timeline for the restaurant improvement so as to clarify the period of time that you plan to work at the restaurant before applying for the jobs. You can consider that one of the possible constraints in the presentation.

Hi Holt thank you very much for your input. I totally agree with that and will add timeline to my essay. Basically the recruitment process to my target company will be about 2-3 months and in that period will focus on the restaurant. After I got hired I will minimize my involvement in the restaurant (maybe only weekend or 1-1.5 hr/day). Thanks again

You need to revise your essay in way that is aligned with former paragraphs in a logical fashion.