Question on leadership in water management now or in the future?

The question below is part of the application form for a scholarship. Can someone please help to correct it? Urgent.

How do you see yourself as providing leadership in water management now or in the future?
Because of the long lasting problem in the water sector in my island, Rodrigues (rra.govmu.org/), I chosen to follow a course in Hydrology in order to strengthen and professionalised the water sector. I am proud to be the only Rodriguan to have followed this course and who is actually working in the department of Water Resources Unit. My first posting was as an Assistant Inspector of Works whereby my major duty was to execute and supervise the maintenance and implementation of civil water works. Then with my academic knowledge and professionalism in works, I was promoted to acting Hydrological Technician whereby my scheme of duty was broaden and more versatile added that I have the support of the Officer In Charge.

I have 2 subordinates who I trained on the surveying and monitoring of water production and quality (boreholes, rivers, dams). I have implemented various monitoring strategies through records sheets and routine visit schedules which was well accepted by all staffs.

I also acted as the liaison officer between the Electro-Mechanical team and my superiors. I also entertained good relationship with contractors and suppliers with whom I can anticipate solutions before seeking approval from higher officers. (communication skills)

Through the different projects in which I have participated, I have also been able to bring modern and more efficient innovative technology pumps, innovative techniques to exploit water from springs and rivers, new design of treatment plants.

Due to the long lasting problem in the water sector of the island that I reside on called Rodrigues. (rra.govmu.org) I have chosen to follow a course in Hydrology, in order to strengthen by adding my knowledge and professionalism to the water sector. I am proud to be the first Rodriguan to have followed this course, along with the fact that I am currently working in the department of Water Resources Unit. My first posting was as an Assistant Inspector of Works whereby my major duty was to execute and supervise the maintenance and implementation of civil water works. Then with my academic knowledge and professionalism in works, I was promoted to acting Hydrological Technician whereby my scheme of duty was broadened and more versatile as I have the support of the Officer in Charge.

I have 2 subordinates who I trained on the surveying and monitoring of water production and quality (boreholes, rivers, dams). I have implemented various monitoring strategies through records sheets and routine visit schedules which was well accepted by all staffs.

I also acted as the liaison officer between the Electro-Mechanical team and my superiors. I also entertained good relationship with contractors and suppliers with whom I can anticipate solutions before seeking approval from higher officers. I am therefore requesting this funding so that I may continue to learn more creating a better future for the island that I care for so deeply.

Through the different projects in which I have participated, I have also been able to bring modern and more efficient innovative technology pumps, innovative techniques to exploit water from springs and rivers, new design of treatment plants. Gaining more knowledge will allow proper training for new technicians and myself. I have embraced this as my career path and with the financial assistance I will be able to strive forward helping my fellow comrades on the island.

Ugo, first of all, I suggest that you don't start your paragraph with the word, "because";

- Because of thedue to the long lasting problem..
- I had chosen to follow a course in Hydrology
- in order to strengthen and professionalisedcivilized the water sector.
- Then With my academic knowledge and professionalism in works,..
- duty was broaden and more versatile added that I have thewith the additional support of the Officer In Charge.
- I have 2 subordinates who I trained on the surveying...
- strategies through records sheets and routine..

This is indeed a powerful strategy in leadership management, to be a good leader is to be able to mingle with the masses, hear them and most of all respect them and let them know that you care and the company is not just a workplace but a home where family come to gather only in a different level of professionalism.