i have tried to apply this scholarship last year and i got rejected from it so now, i want to check what i write exactly. if you could help me about it, i would be really thankful.. my formal english is not so good and also my jeyboard has some problem so i am sorry for this draf..
here is what they ask:
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Personal background in family and education
- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you
- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.
This is what i questioned to myself too. Why i would like to go to Korea for studying? I have several reason for that. First of all the Korean peninsula has long been a site of international controversy and political dispute: once a site of an ideological battle between super Powers druring the cold war, it remains fracteved on into 21st century. Korea is key point of the Asia in so much as 2nd World war. Under the influence of contradicting ideologies, Korea was split into two distinct states after World was 2, having a political and and jeopolitic importance between China and Japan makes the Korea an important country to do political and interternational studies. Power of political importance and a good educational system is most important motivation for me to apply this schoarship. Furthermore Asia is maintaining its military and economical power whereat to living in a country which wants to have a close relations with asia such as Turkey, makes me want to study and concantrate about Asia. Therefore, studying in an asian country particularly strong country by political and strategic way as Korea would give me new perspectives, skills and qualifications about my major. Being a person who majoring about international relations, taking education in another country, in different language and a country like korea which has a reputation about education in whole World would affect my acedemic achievement on a large scale.
I have been attending public schools for entire my life. I have been studying "Kocatepe primary school" in 8 years and during this entire education life i have attended various contest concerning in different fields such as writing essay, reading book or science. I had good degrees on these contest and i have gained awareness of my potential and begin to have self respect and confidence. I have keen attended these contest in highschool life too. İn highschool i have entered to "sağmalcılar anatolian highschool" which 3rd school in my town. In first year because of the hitch in the system i had to begin 1 month late to my school but other years i have ranked 1st in my all classes. I have always been passionate about study of history as you are cabaple of the see my grade in highschool transkript as a provement. İn my opinion history is the most important lecture for political science and international relations because in the event that you want to understand what is happening in the present requires in on understanding at what has happened in the past. İn 2015 i have entered Yıldız Technical University, political science and international relations. My rank might be able to suffice for better universities, i used my choices to my major because in my opinion majoritry is more imperatively than university. I have taken 4 months preparation education eventhought my english level is enough to does not take this education I wanted to improve my social capability. Coming from financially-challanged family led me to work in young ages and it cause me to have a great responsibilty. I have worked in a online book store "okuoku.com" and it affect my relations with people in positive way and this work help me to prouison my education expenditure. My father is retired and my mother is housewife, my older brother currently working as a technical director in a sport channel. My family have always supported and encourage me to do what i want to do and they have never forced me for good scores and ranks .
İn 2016 summer I joined a Project "branding chernivtsi" which organized by AİESEC and it was the biggest challange-experience I would never forget. It has taught me how to survive in totaly different country and how to be in relations with people do not know you. I have attended for having more knowledge in international relations to Brading Chernivtsi and in the course of 6 weeks I stayed in Ukraine and present to city in social networks. Certainly, it was the best experience and as a politician aspirant, I had a chance to observed problems between russia and ukraine peoples line of vision to this problem.
In 2015 ı have attended "political school" programme and ı have observed turkish acedemics viewpoint of middle east issues. This programme gave me a knowladge about middle east politics which is a big problem for turkey. İn same year i have go in for as a volunteer "communication of museum" . During to this programme turkish and foreigner business mans which i met left a deep impression on me. It was considerable oppurtunity to see power of international relations.I have take Office as a volunteer in 2015 Fatih Municipality tourism delegate and this Project led me to change my introvert personality. İt was basicly formed for kind assictance for tourist in turkey. I have not been atended any sport activities but i participate as a volunteer in 2015 and 2016 istanbul marathon and helped to atleths with my english. .
To begin university, I have participate as a volunteer in TOG which having volunteer events and assist to young gender to be part of it for bright future. I have been part of volunteer events and attend some educations for instance sign language lessons. Therewithal of the TEGV foundation i have been volunteer for some events as a teacher and i have been actively part of social responsibility club in my university.
I have been volunteer for "korean culture center" and attended "korean studies team" which ends in short time. İn 2015, ı have get 3rd grade a essay contest which organized by magazine we, in subject of " korea for me" I have taken piano lessos and I have keen on taking this education, music is the most important thing to do in my spare times.
I have been interested in asia long time and KGSP will be my turning point and will be oppurtunity to be a bridge between korea and turkey, cultural, acedemic and politic...
It is a good essay mikka. I think it has a power and emotion and I felt it when I read your composition. However, people have different tastes and I can not say if it will go through since I am not the judge. I also had mine (my personal statement) and I am not sure if I will get either through the selection process even if I am fluent in the language. But, I do believe that if they feel your passion and dedication when you wrote the essay, they will get you because you will be staying there (in Korea) for 5 years and they want passion from you that you can endure that 5 years away from your family and get a higher education or sort of.
What I can suggest is that write from your heart. Read again your composition and if you feel you have written enough then that's gonna be it. If you want to add more, do so for as long as it will not look exaggerated. So again, write from your heart, if this is your passion or if this is what you really want in life, fight for this scholarship. 파이팅!
Good luck mikka ! :)
Hi Mikka, for your SOP, I think you need to have more of a unifying theme, so your essay reads more like a story instead of a list. The readers will have your transcript, so they know how you did in school, this is more of an opportunity to give them a better insight on who you really are as a person, why this opportunity is so important to you, and how it will help you fulfill your goals. Also, I would leave out the beginning part where you talk about the history and importance of Korea. Obviously all that information will be well-known to your readers. Your main point in that section should be how and why this history attracts you. I guess you live in Turkey? Though you never actually state this outright - so be sure to stress the importance of the Turkish/Korean relationship. Also, you do have quite a few grammatical errors in this one, so make sure to run your final draft through the forums to get some final corrections. This is a great start - good luck to you!
