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I want to read for a PhD in mechanical engineering; Scholarship/ GOALS



fsolano94 16 / 28  
Apr 14, 2013   #1
Prompt: How will winning this scholarship help you attain your goals?

(Note; this is a quick rough draft so please feel free to make any comments and corrections you see necessary. Thanks a lot! ----------> I will return the favor)

Winning this scholarship will enable me to continue my education; by helping me afford tuition and living expenses in college. My goal after graduating from high school is to attend the University of Nevada Reno and obtain a PhD in mechanical engineering. Working with science and mathematics is something I find great interest in. I discovered this interest during my sophomore year of high school when I joined the FIRST Robotics Club. In FIRST Robotics I was assigned the position of programmer. Essentially, I was responsible for the movement and functionality of robot 2520 (our schools robot). Being able to work with other ambitious students who enjoy science and mathematics has definitely played a huge role in my decision of becoming a mechanical engineer. At home things are completely different. Education is a word seldom mentioned or heard of in my house. Most of the members in my family did not make it beyond middle school with the exception of my youngest sister who dropped out of high school during her sophomore year. Seeing my family member's live unhealthy and unproductive lifestyles pains me; I know things would be a lot different if they recognized the importance of an education. Nonetheless, I am determined to attend college and receive a higher education so that I can give my future family the support and guidance I never received from members of my family. In addition, to being the first high school graduate in my family, going to college will make me a positive role model for my younger nieces and nephews who still have a chance to pursue an education. Also I am grateful to have realized the significance of an education at an early age; realizing this has helped me stay out of trouble and avoid negative influences. More importantly, I am thankful to have realized that an education can lead to new avenues- literally. In about two months from now I will be heading towards an avenue near the University of Nevada Reno (for the purpose of attaining a higher education). Throughout my schooling I have consulted books, teachers, and friends for educational support. Developing a network of positive- trustworthy friends and teachers has also played a valuable role in my decision of becoming a mechanical engineer. An education goes beyond books and classrooms. I'm glad to have realized this at a young age and will continue to strive toward my educational goals. Truthfully, discovering myself in high school was not easy, but at this point in my life, I have been able to discern that my passion lies in the subject of science and mathematics. Furthermore, I know that all of the hardwork I do will pay off in the future, and one day I will be able to tell my success story to teenagers who come from the same background as me. Winning this scholarship would be more valuable then receiving keys to a brand new car because the key to an education is the key to success.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Apr 15, 2013   #2
Winning this scholarship will enable me to continue my education; by helping me afford tuition and living expenses in college.

... I like if you took this line after you talked about your goals.

Working with science and mathematics is something I find great interest in.

... I think this gives you a better entrance to this response. First talk about your passion and how far you would intend to go in this field, that means your long term goal. You can also tell what your short term goals would be in your mission to achieve this long term goal. Then align the benefits of this scholarship with these goals and show them how the schol would help you achieving your goals.


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