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(Reduction of tuition fees) A scholarship application essay



lynn810 2 / 3  
Nov 17, 2010   #1
I intend to apply for a scholarship from the university that I've applied and am accepted. I need some advices and suggestions so that I can produce a nice one and hopefully my application will be approved. Here I say thank you for willing to read it and your any advices and suggestions are highly appreciated! Thanks!

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My decision to pursue my master degree at --- is made after prudent consideration regarded the course's structure and my future goal. Both my diploma and undergraduate studies in Japan have helped me to realise the very first step towards my goal and has encouraged me to further my study to a higher level. My long-term goal is to contribute towards improving the industrial technologies in the developing countries. Thus I believe it is very important for me to pursue my study and carry out research in a good environment that will provide me with the necessary tools, i.e. the knowledge, the essential skills and research experiences, in order to achieve my goal.

For your knowledge, I am currently under sponsorship from ----- for my undergraduate study. Because of this, I have little concern of my living costs in Japan as my parents cannot afford the expensive tuition fees and living costs. Apart from being able to retain my CGPA above 3.90 during my studies here, I have actively attended to lectures and conferences held at the university and participated in different extracurricular activities, for instance, the English Club, Japanese Language Speech contests, World Vision Japan, and etc.

For my one-year master course at ----, I want to further enhance my knowledge especially in the field of green chemistry and my laboratory skills. The Department of Chemistry at ---- is one of the most prestigious departments in the UK and by taking advantage of the strong collaboration with industrial sector available I believe I will be greatly benefited. As my goal is to help improving the technologies in the third-world countries, such experiences will allow me to learn of the cutting edge technologies and gain useful perspectives that I can make use of in the future. After completing the master course, my intention is to further my study to PhD if I am financially affordable.

I believe with the reduction of my tuition fees, I will be able to concentrate more on my study and the research project followed. It has always been my goal to become involved in this field, and to contribute towards bettering the lives of my fellow man, especially of the people in developing countries. Therefore, I hope that you will help and provide me with the chance to pursue this goal, which I believe is achievable with your support.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 26, 2010   #2
My decision to pursue my masters degree at --- is made after prudent consideration regarded of the course's structure and my future goals .

I'll cross out these words that I think are unnecessary:
For your knowledge, I am currently under sponsorship from ----- for my undergraduate study. Because of this, I have little some concern about my living costs in Japan as my parents cannot afford the expensive tuition fees and living costs.

Start a new paragraph:
(Add a "topic sentence" for the paragraph here). Apart from being

After completing the master course masters degree program, my intention is to...

...concentrate more on my study studies and the research projects that await me in my future. (Is this what you mean by "followed?")

Your ending is very strong... good writing! I hope you find a lot of success!
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Nov 26, 2010   #3
My decision to pursue my master degree at --- is made after prudent consideration regarding the course's structure and my future goal.

Both my diploma and undergraduate studies in Japan have helped me to realize the very first step towards my goal and has encouraged me to further my studies at a higher level.

Apart from being able to retain my CGPA above 3.90 during my studies here, I have actively attended to lectures and conferences held at the university and participated in different extracurricular activities, for instance, the English Club, Japanese Language Speech contests, World Vision Japan, and etc.

The Department of Chemistry at ---- is one of the most prestigious departments in the UK, and by taking advantage of the strong collaboration with the industrial sector available, I believe I will be greatly benefited.

As my goal is to help improve the technologies of third-world countries, such experiences will allow me to learn of the cutting edge technologies and gain useful perspectives that I can make use of in the future.

After completing the master course, my intention is to further my study to PhD if I am financially able .

I believe with the reduction of my tuition fees, I will be able to concentrate more on my studies and the research projects involved .

:)
OP lynn810 2 / 3  
Nov 28, 2010   #4
Thanks do much for the help!


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